The Crying Post

I am crying as I write this so bear with me.

I took Gee job hunting all day today. We called my Uncle G who retired 4 years ago from a wonderful company that he and 3 other family members either work at or have worked at. He agreed to let us "name drop". So he did. They seemed interested and were actually reading his resume as he left instead of just shoving it in a pile.

When he got in the car he had a friend calling him, so he answered, but I didnt see. And very LOUDLY I said

"If you get this job, I will go get IUI immediately and you can get your new truck if it can fit a carseat!"

Then he said "Oh, hey A"

And A must have asked about what I said, because Gee went on to explain IUI, then IVF, (in terms of "I cum into a cup, they wash the semen so its only sperm swimming around") then what exactly is wrong with us. Okay, me.


A's brother, Big A shall be his name, is close to me so he has heard little bits and pieces, but he is like 19 and oblivious to the world, but A is our future Pastor, he is studying environmental science but has dreams of one day sharing his love of God. So, let the tears fall, Gee put him on speaker and A gave me such a wonderful and inspirational speech that I felt like I could seriously turn around, look in the backseat and their would be a baby.

there wasnt. I checked.

Then Gee talked a little more about it, and his voice started to crack, and his face turned red, and I realized, my husband, who I have only seen cry 2 times, was fighting to hold back tears.


AWFUL! I feel AWFUL! My body is the failure, my body is the reason we do not have a child. Why must HE suffer. He is a wonderful man who loves a woman who has a failure of a body! He does not deserve this!


Then his song came on and I remembered, he did not marry me for children. He married me for me.

Here is his song. It is actually about Rob Thomas's wife who has an autoimmune disorder.



Beautiful.




Bobi