13w4d

Hello.

See that? Up there? That is BFM. He does not look like a fishy monster anymore. He looks like a BABY!

A baby who gave his/her (I will probably continue to refer to it as a him because IT feels so wrong at this point) Mama a little heart attack this week.

On Monday we woke up at the asscrack of dawn (earlier than I get up when I work) and drove 45 minutes to the wonderful super ultrasound institute. I had to pee. Which I made sure of on purpose. Then went back and let a lady put some goo on me and tuck a cloth into my nether regions to protect the maternity pants I am now forced to wear.

Then it all began. She measured his neck, but he would not move from his side. So, she wiggled me. He refused to budge. His heart beat was 158. She made me roll right, he waved an arm but went right back to sleep. She rolled me left. He snuggled up tighter. She made me get up and march around with a towel hanging from my undies and maternity pants that were by this point ready to fall off! Then she got me back on the table. He kicked my bladder and continued his rest. By now I have been in this room, having to pee for 15 minutes. So, what does our Tech do? She pushes the little nozzle down ONTO MY BELLY, and JIGGLES!.

HELLO PISSED OFF BABY!

Immediately we see feet kicking like crazy, hands all over the place and a baby who is no longer slumbering but throwing a fit! Super angry! It took him several minutes to calm down but he did move to his back and let her measure. After completing his fit and getting in some good blows to my FULL BLADDER! I swear, if anyone ever wakes this kid, I will kill them. He obviously wanted to sleep.

And she didnt even take pictures of his fit! I am sorry but that was the cutest thing ever! He flailed around like a toddler!

Tuesday I showed off pictures at work and slept. Wednesday worked and slept. Thursday I worked 10 hours and got no sleep! Then Friday.

Oh, how I love Friday.

At 9:47 am one of my fellow teachers arrives to give me and my head teacher a bathroom break. We are peeling apples for snack, which I suck at, so I go first. I pee, and check for blood as usual. But this time, I FIND BLOOD! Light pink with some brown mixed in with some discharge. I am in my 13th week. I saw a heartbeat! He beat my bladder!

I go back to my classroom. My head teacher goes to the bathroom. I peel away at those apples trying to focus. Then my head teacher comes back and I whisper to her the issue. She excuses me to go call my doctor. But as I walk out, the teacher who is covering for me asks "Are you okay?" I was. Until she asked! Then I bawled. I went and tried calling my doctor in the hall. But every room gets a few minute break around this time. So every teacher kept walking by. And could see me losing it. So they hugged me. And talked to me. AS I AM TRYING TO HEAR MY OPTIONS ON THE DOCTORS LITTLE ANSWERING THING! I did not know what to hit so i hit 4 for an appointment.

At this point a family friend and one of our lunch ladies ushered me into the kitchen office, handed me a box of tissues and gave me some damn privacy!

I spoke to the office lady, she got me my nurse (They have 10 nurses and each patient gets there own. These nurses only have 10 patients each(ish) so they can memorize exactly what this person needs without looking at a file.) My nurse told me to breath, that I am 13 weeks. That he was fine on Monday. That I am okay. That he is okay. But that she would have the doctor rewatch the ultrasound and get back to me. She also gave me her cell phone number so that if I had any further issues before the doctor called I could get ahold of her even if she went on her break before then. And that if I decided to go home from work, the doctor would write me a note or whatever I needed.

I left. I could not stop crying. I did not even look at my toddlers as I left. I feel bad now, but at the time, a daycare was too scary.

I called Gee the second I got to the car and told him the situation and that I intended on colapsing into his arms the second I got home. I did.

He rubbed my back until I fell asleep and then left me. He had to distract himself with some xbox. My nurse called me back an hour later. She said everything was great on Monday, and that I had permission to push on my belly real quick. I felt him. (she had previously yelled at me for doing that even though I can feel a little bit if I do it. I like to feel) He was moving. Then she made me promise not to squish him anymore. Apparently this was a one time deal.

No hospital. No nothing. Haha yea right!

There was something.

PELVIC REST!

Bleeding for any unknown reason qualifies me for pelvic rest for 2 weeks. Strict, nearly bedrest, pelvic rest. So sex, no anything in there. No touching down there unless I am wiping. No pushing or lying on my stomach. Back or left side ONLY. No stairs. No running. No exercise besides swimming and walking. Oh, and no lifting more than 30 lbs. Which means no work for me.

For 2 weeks. We owed on our taxes, we recently found out that the gym membership I backed out on, is sueing us for our average monthly income, we have bills to pay, Gee's car needs $700 worth of work, and I CAN'T WORK!

I probably would have fought this any other time, but this if for the baby. This is for BFM, and I would do anything for him. Or her.

Gee freaked for a minute, then he realized WHY we were doing this.

We are okay now. Just going to be a struggle for a month or so. My mom contributed by giving us $50 worth of groceries. Which aint much. Just enough for 2 meals. Taco's and a frozen pizza. Oh, and milk. I think we could have handled the $50 (easily) but I believe it was her way of saying "I will give you whatever you need.". Which is sweet. But will make me feel like shit. I am pregnant and living off my mother. Happy Mother's Day! Crap, now I want a taco.

I exercised today. Just walking. I regret this decision. But it is the only thing I can do besides sit and lay. I walked with my friend and her 2 kids (my favorite kids) all day. Kroger, the park, the farm, everywhere. By the time I got back to my mom's (Gee had dropped me off there earlier since his car is broken) I sat on her couch and said "I am sorry, but can you take me home? I promise I will come back tomorrow. And can we get ice cream?". My momma loves me so she laughed and took me home, and gave me some oreo ice cream. Which I ate on the couch while Gee glared at me. I was raised an only child. I lack sharing skills.

Then I realized how boring life is when you can't even go up the stairs to talk to your husband. So, I wrote this super long post, updated my facebook 22000 times and am now going to walk to the kitchen and see about a taco.

Bobi