So, Sunday morning I woke up with some pressure. In my vah-jay-jay. Some period like cramping, and a back ache from my lower back to the bra strap area. I tried walking around, tried a hot bath, they dulled it but nothing significant. I called the doctor. The midwife called me back and she wanted to get the OB's opinion before deciding what to do, but she suggested laying down with a pillow between my legs. I fell asleep. Three hours later the doctor had not called.
I bitched to Gee who was, by this point, ready to have a heart attack. I called the midwife back and explained how now it felt like the pressure was gone, but it hurt in my back more. She said it could be a bacterial infection or a cervical issue and that I may have laid wrong.
I prayed for the laying wrong idea and a bacterial infection. (At this point an std or BV sounded like an awesome idea) Then everything went away, except for the the back pain, which by now i felt in my right side right below my rib cage. Sadly, you have probably already figured this out, but it took me an hour.
My mom came over to hang out for Mother's day (Midwife also ordered me not to get out of bed for any reason other than peeing) and when she walked in and noticed how messy my house is, she began cleaning. Leaving me writhing in pain, alone in bed. Gee thought something was wrong with the baby and was upstairs trying to deal with it in his own way, bitching to friends and killing people on xbox.
I felt like I could not get comfortable. No matter what. I tried everything. I was stretching, trying weird positions, making Gee rub my back (when he came downstairs) and everything else I could think of. It did not work. I tried getting into the tub (while Gee is upstairs and my mom is cleaning) and it still hurt. By this point I knew I had a kidney infection.
I went to my mom, bawling like a baby, and said "Just take me to the ER" and then started explaining how I am such a wimp, how am I going to birth a baby if a damn kidney infection takes me down?
She and Gee took me to the hospital, laughing and making jokes the entire way. Gee even proclaimed that once they checked the baby, he was walking home. So, I threatened to beat them, kill them, and walk the rest of the way myself. They shut up.
Then we got rushed right in , and they took my BP, oxygen and pulse. My pulse was high for anyone, my BP was 130/80 (I am generally 60/80 and have actually been asked if I am alive.) My oxygen saturation was 88. It hurt to breath, hurt to cough, laugh, smile, be alive! And nothing would take it away. My Mom joked that it would suck if these doctors were making such a big deal and then we found out it was gas. Gee joked that I am pregnant, and with pregnancy everything always comes back to gas.
I threatened their lives again and switched positons another 200 times. The doctor rushed in, checked the baby, and realized, their ultrasound machine was not meant for OB and couldn't record the heart beat. So, they tried doing it another way, which came back as 216 beats per minute! They said that yes, he was agitated and his heart was fast, but they did not think 216 was accurate. But, he definitely could not get comfortable just like me. I assume that everytime I moved, he moved, and I was trying EVERYTHING to get comfortable, which means I was flopping around like a freaking fish out of water. Poor BFM.
Then they let me pee, and did an ultrasound on my kidney. Which was healthy, and fine. So they checked my left kidney, healthy and fine. Then right as they finished they came in with the results of my pee test. No infection. But blood. Then, as I switched positions for the 100000000th time, they asked "Are you having trouble getting comfortable?" I burst into tears, and Gee said "DUH!".
They explained how the blood and me not being able to get comfortable meant kidney stones. They could not do a CAT scan since I am pregnant, but explained what was going on and that my bleeding Friday was probably not related at all. So, I am still on severely restricted pelvic rest and I am waiting for a pain that will "make sure you don't need an epidural during labor". FUCK!
I also got vicodin. I questioned them, I called my nurse, I asked the pharmacist, they said with kidney stones, vicodin is okay. It would lower the heart rate slightly, and make him sleepy. So, I popped that bad boy and 30 minutes later I was eating a big juicy burger and living the high life.
But I am me, so I used my phone to talk to Dr. Google. Apparently, when a woman has kidney stones, it will put her in so much pain, that she may go into premature labor or miscarry. So, death of baby, or lower heart rate and drowsiness, I pick heart rate and drowsiness.
Gee and I agreed though, that while the stones were traveling from my kidney to my bladder, I would take the vicodin, but I would make sure to leave an hour break for BFM to feel normal.
HA!
The vicodin wore off 5 hours later. Five! Not the 6 the bottle says! I ended up vomiting. All of my burger and fries. Which was the ONLY thing I had ate all day. Apparently pregnant me says "Ouch! that hurts, lets barf!" It did not work. Still hurt. So, Gee said to just take the pill. So, I took it 15 minutes early. Then an hour later, I got the shakes. And dizzy. And the general "I need food" feeling. My blood sugar was 42. Gee made me chocolate milk (not sugar free!) and potatoes and corn. Oddly, that is what I wanted. Starch and sugar!
Then I sat down on the couch, and could not get back up. I was too tired. Gee assisted me to bed, and I passed out! Four hours later I woke up, peed, and felt fine. Then another 4 hours later I woke up and realized, THE PAIN WAS GONE! cue angels singing.
So, the little rock babies who plan to rip and cut their way out of my poor little urethra, are safely in my bladder. I have felt great all day. I get a follow up with my OB in the morning to check on baby fishy monster, and wait for my practice labor that promises to be 10x worse than labor. Dr. Google has me afraid to pee.
So, wish a girl luck, and say a prayer or a hope, or toss some rock baby dust over here. And if you are in Ohio and hear a woman screaming in the bathroom, and she may or may not be using the Bradley Method to urinate, please, keep walking.
Oh, and my mom and Gee, have both been kissing my ass. They feel so guilty. The moment they said "Kidney stones" I smirked at those two! Gas! GAS! As far as I am concerned, they can come enjoy practice labor with me, and I promise to squeeze their hands the entire time!
Bobi
No comments:
Post a Comment