My First Mother's Day (kind of)

So, Sunday morning I woke up with some pressure. In my vah-jay-jay. Some period like cramping, and a back ache from my lower back to the bra strap area. I tried walking around, tried a hot bath, they dulled it but nothing significant. I called the doctor. The midwife called me back and she wanted to get the OB's opinion before deciding what to do, but she suggested laying down with a pillow between my legs. I fell asleep. Three hours later the doctor had not called.

I bitched to Gee who was, by this point, ready to have a heart attack. I called the midwife back and explained how now it felt like the pressure was gone, but it hurt in my back more. She said it could be a bacterial infection or a cervical issue and that I may have laid wrong.

I prayed for the laying wrong idea and a bacterial infection. (At this point an std or BV sounded like an awesome idea) Then everything went away, except for the the back pain, which by now i felt in my right side right below my rib cage. Sadly, you have probably already figured this out, but it took me an hour.

My mom came over to hang out for Mother's day (Midwife also ordered me not to get out of bed for any reason other than peeing) and when she walked in and noticed how messy my house is, she began cleaning. Leaving me writhing in pain, alone in bed. Gee thought something was wrong with the baby and was upstairs trying to deal with it in his own way, bitching to friends and killing people on xbox.

I felt like I could not get comfortable. No matter what. I tried everything. I was stretching, trying weird positions, making Gee rub my back (when he came downstairs) and everything else I could think of. It did not work. I tried getting into the tub (while Gee is upstairs and my mom is cleaning) and it still hurt. By this point I knew I had a kidney infection.

I went to my mom, bawling like a baby, and said "Just take me to the ER" and then started explaining how I am such a wimp, how am I going to birth a baby if a damn kidney infection takes me down?

She and Gee took me to the hospital, laughing and making jokes the entire way. Gee even proclaimed that once they checked the baby, he was walking home. So, I threatened to beat them, kill them, and walk the rest of the way myself. They shut up.

Then we got rushed right in , and they took my BP, oxygen and pulse. My pulse was high for anyone, my BP was 130/80 (I am generally 60/80 and have actually been asked if I am alive.) My oxygen saturation was 88. It hurt to breath, hurt to cough, laugh, smile, be alive! And nothing would take it away. My Mom joked that it would suck if these doctors were making such a big deal and then we found out it was gas. Gee joked that I am pregnant, and with pregnancy everything always comes back to gas.

I threatened their lives again and switched positons another 200 times. The doctor rushed in, checked the baby, and realized, their ultrasound machine was not meant for OB and couldn't record the heart beat. So, they tried doing it another way, which came back as 216 beats per minute! They said that yes, he was agitated and his heart was fast, but they did not think 216 was accurate. But, he definitely could not get comfortable just like me. I assume that everytime I moved, he moved, and I was trying EVERYTHING to get comfortable, which means I was flopping around like a freaking fish out of water. Poor BFM.

Then they let me pee, and did an ultrasound on my kidney. Which was healthy, and fine. So they checked my left kidney, healthy and fine. Then right as they finished they came in with the results of my pee test. No infection. But blood. Then, as I switched positions for the 100000000th time, they asked "Are you having trouble getting comfortable?" I burst into tears, and Gee said "DUH!".

They explained how the blood and me not being able to get comfortable meant kidney stones. They could not do a CAT scan since I am pregnant, but explained what was going on and that my bleeding Friday was probably not related at all. So, I am still on severely restricted pelvic rest and I am waiting for a pain that will "make sure you don't need an epidural during labor". FUCK!

I also got vicodin. I questioned them, I called my nurse, I asked the pharmacist, they said with kidney stones, vicodin is okay. It would lower the heart rate slightly, and make him sleepy. So, I popped that bad boy and 30 minutes later I was eating a big juicy burger and living the high life.

But I am me, so I used my phone to talk to Dr. Google. Apparently, when a woman has kidney stones, it will put her in so much pain, that she may go into premature labor or miscarry. So, death of baby, or lower heart rate and drowsiness, I pick heart rate and drowsiness.

Gee and I agreed though, that while the stones were traveling from my kidney to my bladder, I would take the vicodin, but I would make sure to leave an hour break for BFM to feel normal.

HA!

The vicodin wore off 5 hours later. Five! Not the 6 the bottle says! I ended up vomiting. All of my burger and fries. Which was the ONLY thing I had ate all day. Apparently pregnant me says "Ouch! that hurts, lets barf!" It did not work. Still hurt. So, Gee said to just take the pill. So, I took it 15 minutes early. Then an hour later, I got the shakes. And dizzy. And the general "I need food" feeling. My blood sugar was 42. Gee made me chocolate milk (not sugar free!) and potatoes and corn. Oddly, that is what I wanted. Starch and sugar!

Then I sat down on the couch, and could not get back up. I was too tired. Gee assisted me to bed, and I passed out! Four hours later I woke up, peed, and felt fine. Then another 4 hours later I woke up and realized, THE PAIN WAS GONE! cue angels singing.

So, the little rock babies who plan to rip and cut their way out of my poor little urethra, are safely in my bladder. I have felt great all day. I get a follow up with my OB in the morning to check on baby fishy monster, and wait for my practice labor that promises to be 10x worse than labor. Dr. Google has me afraid to pee.

So, wish a girl luck, and say a prayer or a hope, or toss some rock baby dust over here. And if you are in Ohio and hear a woman screaming in the bathroom, and she may or may not be using the Bradley Method to urinate, please, keep walking.


Oh, and my mom and Gee, have both been kissing my ass. They feel so guilty. The moment they said "Kidney stones" I smirked at those two! Gas! GAS! As far as I am concerned, they can come enjoy practice labor with me, and I promise to squeeze their hands the entire time!


Bobi

13w4d

Hello.

See that? Up there? That is BFM. He does not look like a fishy monster anymore. He looks like a BABY!

A baby who gave his/her (I will probably continue to refer to it as a him because IT feels so wrong at this point) Mama a little heart attack this week.

On Monday we woke up at the asscrack of dawn (earlier than I get up when I work) and drove 45 minutes to the wonderful super ultrasound institute. I had to pee. Which I made sure of on purpose. Then went back and let a lady put some goo on me and tuck a cloth into my nether regions to protect the maternity pants I am now forced to wear.

Then it all began. She measured his neck, but he would not move from his side. So, she wiggled me. He refused to budge. His heart beat was 158. She made me roll right, he waved an arm but went right back to sleep. She rolled me left. He snuggled up tighter. She made me get up and march around with a towel hanging from my undies and maternity pants that were by this point ready to fall off! Then she got me back on the table. He kicked my bladder and continued his rest. By now I have been in this room, having to pee for 15 minutes. So, what does our Tech do? She pushes the little nozzle down ONTO MY BELLY, and JIGGLES!.

HELLO PISSED OFF BABY!

Immediately we see feet kicking like crazy, hands all over the place and a baby who is no longer slumbering but throwing a fit! Super angry! It took him several minutes to calm down but he did move to his back and let her measure. After completing his fit and getting in some good blows to my FULL BLADDER! I swear, if anyone ever wakes this kid, I will kill them. He obviously wanted to sleep.

And she didnt even take pictures of his fit! I am sorry but that was the cutest thing ever! He flailed around like a toddler!

Tuesday I showed off pictures at work and slept. Wednesday worked and slept. Thursday I worked 10 hours and got no sleep! Then Friday.

Oh, how I love Friday.

At 9:47 am one of my fellow teachers arrives to give me and my head teacher a bathroom break. We are peeling apples for snack, which I suck at, so I go first. I pee, and check for blood as usual. But this time, I FIND BLOOD! Light pink with some brown mixed in with some discharge. I am in my 13th week. I saw a heartbeat! He beat my bladder!

I go back to my classroom. My head teacher goes to the bathroom. I peel away at those apples trying to focus. Then my head teacher comes back and I whisper to her the issue. She excuses me to go call my doctor. But as I walk out, the teacher who is covering for me asks "Are you okay?" I was. Until she asked! Then I bawled. I went and tried calling my doctor in the hall. But every room gets a few minute break around this time. So every teacher kept walking by. And could see me losing it. So they hugged me. And talked to me. AS I AM TRYING TO HEAR MY OPTIONS ON THE DOCTORS LITTLE ANSWERING THING! I did not know what to hit so i hit 4 for an appointment.

At this point a family friend and one of our lunch ladies ushered me into the kitchen office, handed me a box of tissues and gave me some damn privacy!

I spoke to the office lady, she got me my nurse (They have 10 nurses and each patient gets there own. These nurses only have 10 patients each(ish) so they can memorize exactly what this person needs without looking at a file.) My nurse told me to breath, that I am 13 weeks. That he was fine on Monday. That I am okay. That he is okay. But that she would have the doctor rewatch the ultrasound and get back to me. She also gave me her cell phone number so that if I had any further issues before the doctor called I could get ahold of her even if she went on her break before then. And that if I decided to go home from work, the doctor would write me a note or whatever I needed.

I left. I could not stop crying. I did not even look at my toddlers as I left. I feel bad now, but at the time, a daycare was too scary.

I called Gee the second I got to the car and told him the situation and that I intended on colapsing into his arms the second I got home. I did.

He rubbed my back until I fell asleep and then left me. He had to distract himself with some xbox. My nurse called me back an hour later. She said everything was great on Monday, and that I had permission to push on my belly real quick. I felt him. (she had previously yelled at me for doing that even though I can feel a little bit if I do it. I like to feel) He was moving. Then she made me promise not to squish him anymore. Apparently this was a one time deal.

No hospital. No nothing. Haha yea right!

There was something.

PELVIC REST!

Bleeding for any unknown reason qualifies me for pelvic rest for 2 weeks. Strict, nearly bedrest, pelvic rest. So sex, no anything in there. No touching down there unless I am wiping. No pushing or lying on my stomach. Back or left side ONLY. No stairs. No running. No exercise besides swimming and walking. Oh, and no lifting more than 30 lbs. Which means no work for me.

For 2 weeks. We owed on our taxes, we recently found out that the gym membership I backed out on, is sueing us for our average monthly income, we have bills to pay, Gee's car needs $700 worth of work, and I CAN'T WORK!

I probably would have fought this any other time, but this if for the baby. This is for BFM, and I would do anything for him. Or her.

Gee freaked for a minute, then he realized WHY we were doing this.

We are okay now. Just going to be a struggle for a month or so. My mom contributed by giving us $50 worth of groceries. Which aint much. Just enough for 2 meals. Taco's and a frozen pizza. Oh, and milk. I think we could have handled the $50 (easily) but I believe it was her way of saying "I will give you whatever you need.". Which is sweet. But will make me feel like shit. I am pregnant and living off my mother. Happy Mother's Day! Crap, now I want a taco.

I exercised today. Just walking. I regret this decision. But it is the only thing I can do besides sit and lay. I walked with my friend and her 2 kids (my favorite kids) all day. Kroger, the park, the farm, everywhere. By the time I got back to my mom's (Gee had dropped me off there earlier since his car is broken) I sat on her couch and said "I am sorry, but can you take me home? I promise I will come back tomorrow. And can we get ice cream?". My momma loves me so she laughed and took me home, and gave me some oreo ice cream. Which I ate on the couch while Gee glared at me. I was raised an only child. I lack sharing skills.

Then I realized how boring life is when you can't even go up the stairs to talk to your husband. So, I wrote this super long post, updated my facebook 22000 times and am now going to walk to the kitchen and see about a taco.

Bobi