Friday Night Leftovers

Welcome to Friday Night Leftovers!

• What are you eating? I have been meaning to do a food post, but I am slacking. I recently made a gluten free, msg free version of my amazing stroganoff. Now if I could only make it fat and calories free. I also have been experimenting with Bagels. Just adding weird stuff to them, using them in odd ways, and loving them.
• I received a frantic call from my sister late last night. She is 17. Or will be in a few days. Her boyfriend is a total jerk though. I thought she was just being dramatic but then I witnessed it all for myself after I picked her up and rushed her to his house. He threatened suicide when she got mad at him, then turned off his phone to freak her out. Then refused to see her. So I took her to my house and let her cry on my couch. Then this morning I got to overhear just how bad this kid is. He screamed and yelled at her, saying demeaning and abusive things about her being "worthless without him" and many other things. Later he sent some awful text messages and my sister allowed me to read them. He called her every name in the book of "awful things t say to a teenage girl". So when I told Gee, he sat down with her and discussed abusive relationships and self esteem and how beautiful she is. Then he called my step dad and explained the situation. (All my step dad knew was his daughter was upset and his step daughter kidnapped her) This had to have been a hard conversation because my step dad loves my sister's boyfriend. He was not aware of just how awful this kid is. Even so, Gee still did not tell him everything, because we do not want my step dad killing this kid. Although Gee and I made some disturbing threats after my sister left, one of which involves locking the kid in our crawl space until this snow melts, the crawlspace floods and the kid drowns slowly in ice cold water. (We were really angry here and have no intention of following through) Then while I was out shoveling, Gee took my sister to the game room and forced her to play video games. During this time I came inside and started getting ready to take my sister home. Then Gee's phone rang, this kid got Ge's number from his sister and was demanding to talk to my sister. Gee hung up on him. (Little sister had given me her phone and I had put it on silent so she could calm down)

Then I took my sister home, sat next to her as she listened to voicemails of her boyfriend screaming like a toddler who cannot have a cookie, kissed her, and was dismissed. I made it a mile before she called me. Said boyfriend was accusing her of sleeping with my husband. He said that was the only reason Gee would encourage them to break up, because Gee wants her, and has wanted her since she was 12 years old when he first met her.

I should mention that Gee lived in the same house as my sister for 2 years, she has spent countless nights with us, when Gee was in boot camp he sent a letter to her telling her how she is the sister he never had. (His sister by then was MIA) They play video games together and Gee makes fun of her, Gee is protective of her and encourages me to spend more time with her. She has been calling him her BIL since the second month of my relationship with him. Trust me folks, they have only been alone together for more than 30 minutes maybe 4 times this entire time.

When I came home and told Gee, the threats began. He called my ASIL (which is the sisters boyfriends sister) and explained that she needed to rein this kid in. She did. And fast. The kid showed up at my step dad's house with flowers and a big hand print where ASIL had slapped some sense into him.

The sad part? My sister is going back with him. The good part, she has agreed this is his last chance, and next time he yells at her she is going to smile, and say "Goodbye" and we will changer her number. I know how abusive relationships work, so I doubt she will have the balls to do it, but I also know that if we try to force her away from him, she will want to go back even more. All I want to do is run the kid over.

• What would you do?
• I got alot of cleaning done. Very excited.
• Dogs really need a bath, but everytime I have time to do it, it SNOWS!
• I am sick of winter and the next person who says "I love winter" is going to shovel my sidewalks
• Speaking of sidewalks, I did a good deed, my neighbor (Old man who is very nosey) was out shoveling and said he needed a break, that he had double bypass a year ago. So during his break, I shoveled his entire driveway. He looked very happy when he came back outside.
• My neighbors have a much bigger driveway than I realized.

Anywho, I must now go relax and get ready for bed. Im cleaning two houses tomorrow, then digging out Gee's car, sending him off to work, and having game night with some friends. Check out what Danifred is talking about.

Bobi

The Crying Post

I am crying as I write this so bear with me.

I took Gee job hunting all day today. We called my Uncle G who retired 4 years ago from a wonderful company that he and 3 other family members either work at or have worked at. He agreed to let us "name drop". So he did. They seemed interested and were actually reading his resume as he left instead of just shoving it in a pile.

When he got in the car he had a friend calling him, so he answered, but I didnt see. And very LOUDLY I said

"If you get this job, I will go get IUI immediately and you can get your new truck if it can fit a carseat!"

Then he said "Oh, hey A"

And A must have asked about what I said, because Gee went on to explain IUI, then IVF, (in terms of "I cum into a cup, they wash the semen so its only sperm swimming around") then what exactly is wrong with us. Okay, me.


A's brother, Big A shall be his name, is close to me so he has heard little bits and pieces, but he is like 19 and oblivious to the world, but A is our future Pastor, he is studying environmental science but has dreams of one day sharing his love of God. So, let the tears fall, Gee put him on speaker and A gave me such a wonderful and inspirational speech that I felt like I could seriously turn around, look in the backseat and their would be a baby.

there wasnt. I checked.

Then Gee talked a little more about it, and his voice started to crack, and his face turned red, and I realized, my husband, who I have only seen cry 2 times, was fighting to hold back tears.


AWFUL! I feel AWFUL! My body is the failure, my body is the reason we do not have a child. Why must HE suffer. He is a wonderful man who loves a woman who has a failure of a body! He does not deserve this!


Then his song came on and I remembered, he did not marry me for children. He married me for me.

Here is his song. It is actually about Rob Thomas's wife who has an autoimmune disorder.



Beautiful.




Bobi

Rich. Whore. Bitch.

Those are the words that were used to describe yours truly as she exited the YWCA this afternoon. I had walked in and was in the middle of culture shock.
Babies on the floor screaming. Ghetto mama's screaming at each other. And no one caring for either.

So after I checked in with the receptionist, I sat my butt down at the chair farthest from the drama and started texting a few friends. Then the receptionist called me back up and I pulled my Coach wallet from 1996 out of my purse and gave her my I.D. and was sent to the fingerprinting room.
When I finished I walked out and stopped to hold the door for a woman carrying in a toddler and an infant. Then I heard "Fucking Rich Whore. Stupid Bitch, thinking she is better than us."
First of all, I do not believe that any living creature is better than another. But I believe we make better choices than others. Sitting there just reminded me how lucky I am. And how unlucky I am. These women probably did not realize I was jealous of them.

They have children. Lots of children. This irony of infertility amazes me. How can a woman living at the YWCA get pregnant but a woman with her own home, a wedding ring, and financial stability not get pregnant?

I am Still Here

I am still alive and well. My new phone will not let me post or comment from it! I am going to see if there is a blogger app or anything I can do to rectify this because I need to be able to comment!

Cleaning job is awesome, but I am leaving it. Why? The preschool/daycare, put me in the toddler room and watched how I interacted with the crazy kids and they loved it. So, they want me fulltime. I would make more money cleaning, but who can turn down toddlers?

That is actually what Gee said when I called him. I said "Honey, what should I do?" and he said "Well, I would love to tell you to go with the money, but I know you cannot walk away from toddlers. Eighteen to Twenty-Four months is your favorite age and they are offering you exactly what you want." He knows me well.

Last night I went bowling with my family and invited my favorite employee, lets call her ASIL, for almost-sister-in-law, since she is my sister's fiance's sister. It is a stretch, but I love her so much I will adopt her into the family. She informed me that my replacement, has left the building. She said one of my consumers chased her out of the building screaming that he wanted me. She put in her 2 weeks within minutes. She didnt even make it out of training. Then after bowling, ASIL went to buy a pregnancy test.
Did I say how i was mentally able to count days for a broken condom incident for a friend, and determined that on day 20 of her cycle, she wouldnt be pregnant? And it only took me a minute? Well, she was 3 days late today, and tested.

I informed her last night that if it were positive, and her I-dont-want-babies-until-I-am-thirtysomething-self got pregnant, I would cry like a freaking baby. She said she would cry too. We laughed it off and thought nothing of it.

This is the text I woke up to:

:'(

I sent:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

She sent: I am losing my mind.

I sent: Me too!

And then I realized she had no one besides her boyfriend and needed a big sisterly or motherly approach and I went into high gear. I went prenatal shopping, gave her my bottle of folic acid, set her up with "What to expect" and a babydotcom account, and opened her developmental disability book and showed her how a fetus develops and how the drink I gave her on day 22 of her cycle will probably not cause long term issues. Then we made a plan, who to tell and when. I helped her make a list of doctors to call (Her mother died when she was 11 and she has had alot of on again off again depression since then) and medicine not to take until she gets the okay from her doctor. Then I got her excited. I talked about how much she loves children, how this is an adventure and she has been given such a wonderful gift and opportunity. I even said how her mother is probably looking down and is so happy for this blessing. Then I hugged my friend and left her.


AND I:


:'(

Cried


But I will make the best of this. I am now the only person in my close group of friends who is not pregnant. Or has a child already. This includes my infertile friends.

I feel lost and alone in this big cruel world. Gee has been taking this cycle very seriously. He has been coming home, getting some food, and having sex with my sleeping body. Yep, because I have to be up at 8 am when I work and the every other day has fallen on my days off. So, sleep sex! It sucks, and I feel bad, but it isnt about feeling good dammit it is about pumping babies!

I noticed, right after Gee left for work Friday night, that I had cervical mucous! It was stretchy. And thick. I had some minor cramps that day but I thought it was sore muscles from working so hard. Then I did some math, realized it was day 12, and called George. He was due to have sexual relations with me Saturday morning anyway, but now he knew to hurry and push in all the way. So, he did. Lets hope it works. I am taking evening primrose, black cohosh, dong quoi, and mucinex. No clomid. I forgot about it in my effort to go all herbal.

Anywho, I have to get Gee up for work.

Bobi

Happy 50TH!

HAPPY 50TH POST!

Eh, not so happy really. Job is great, next Monday I start at the preschool.
Not so great, our taxes. I forgot that this year we have to pay back our Home Buyer's credit. Which is $500. That still means we get a bit back right? WRONG.
Gee's work did not take out any school taxes. So, we owed them a lot. After all is said and done, we owe $150.
I have only owed once before, and that was $18000 from inheritance. This seriously sucks. I would have been happy with breaking even, but paying is just not acceptable. And for the third year in a row I was told "Better start making those little tax deductions" I HAVE BEEN TRYING! Cant I add up that in the last year I have had 2 miscarriages, add them up, which is 14 weeks or so, and claim them for 14 weeks? Or can I just get credit for trying? My best friend has two children, she told me her return.....wait for it...

wait for it......










$7591!!!!!!!!!

I would take 1/100 of that.

Damn babies. I only have a month to get knocked up in order to get one for next year. I am willing to bet $2000 that it will not happen. Any takers?

Oh, and my last infertile real life friend, is pregnant.

I am SO LONELY!




Not my normal musical preference, but dammit, I am So Lonely.


Bobi

I want! I want! I need!

So Gee wants to take the $6000 in savings, and use $3000 of it for a down payment on a truck for him. Then sell his car, for $2000, add that to the downpayment, and then put our measly $1000 tax return into the savings account.
GAH!
That would mean, I would have to save another $4000 (we try to always have atleast a few thousand in the bank.) for IUI! (I am not going to an RE at the moment because I can't decide if I want my current OBGYN (who performs IUI's) to do it, or to go to a new obgyn and then travel an hour or 4 to see an RE) This is not what I wanted. I want IUI asap.
He wants a new truck. I want a baby. He wants a car to put a baby in. I want a car that is decent for a baby. And most trucks, unless they have an extended cab and cost an arm and a leg, are not.
I do believe we deserve to splurge a little. He can get a new video game or something, and I can get the Amazon Kindle.
He disagrees.
BUT I NEED IT!
My backseat has 10-20 books in it. Why? Because I always need one when I don't have one! So I try to carry one in my purse at all times. So I switch them in and out of my purse. A Kindle would make this so much easier!
He says that if he had a truck he could get a plow thingy and make extra money, and help our friends move, etc!
Any suggestions?

I should also mention, Gee takes awful care of his vehicles. The car he has now, was my first car. I replaced the tranny and gave it to him after he destroyed his last car. He has since: broke the automatic seat, broke a window, got it stuck 200000 times, broke the cruise control, jammed the tilt wheel, only had 6 oil changes in 3 years, etc. So my kindle will probably last longer than his damn truck!

Just needed to share that before anyone could give an opinion.

Justice For ALL!

I had a case worker ask me several questions today. She noticed that anytime something happens with one of my consumers, the company blames me, even though the consumer says I only work with him 2 days a week. So how can it be my fault?

These questions showed several illegal actions. And at the end of the conversation she informed me that I would not be getting in trouble for any of this because I had proof that it was not me, it was the company. But, I could either stay, or quit. She said that very shortly, my company will find out someone made allegations against them for abuse, neglect, etc. And they will soon find out it was her and that I helped. I figure, I like unemployment, so I am going to stay part time. But I will be reporting everything to her. :)


Bobi