Sorry!

Sorry I missed Friday Night Leftovers.

I almost did Friday Morning Leftovers but I figured I would need something to do after Gee went to work.

I didn't.

I finally got a slip signed by a doctor for work! They needed a doctor to sign that I had a physical, did not have TB and had my childhood immunizations. I thought the doctor who did my physical and tb test would sign it. I was wrong. Because he does not have a record of my childhood vaccines he refused to sign. So I had to bring the results of my physical and tb test to my family doctor and have him sign the sheet. It was a mess that meant I had to drive over 250 miles just for a piece of freaking paper.

Then yesterday, I was sick. It all started Thursday. I had hip pain. I seriously felt like someone had grabbed each of my hips and were pulling them in opposite directions. It felt awful. I seriously could do nothing but deal with it. Tylenol did not help and I am still in my 2ww. I was going to buy a test Thursday, but I could barely move, so I slept all damn day.
Then I woke up around 430 pm and had to clean and mope around, still in pain. So i stayed up all night so that I could get to my doctors bright and early and get the slip signed. Well around 7 a I started feeling a bit off. Then I drank some sprite and my coffee. Then at around 715 I ran to the bathroom. Needless to say, and Gee came home he heard

"blahhhhhhh"

He did not appreciate it. I proceeded to throw up 4 more times in the course of getting to the doctor and having him sign this sheet. Then got home, and went to bed. I thought I would sleep all day again, but I was wrong, I woke up around 230, went to have dinner with my mom (pickles on an upset stomach are not a good idea), went to my uncles, and noticed a rash.
I had a blotchy weird looking rash on my arm. I had no idea where it came from. So I headed home. You know, just in case I had the rash and puking disease or something.

I sent a picture of the rash to a friend of mine who is a nurse. She was stumped. She said it could be heat rash, but since I couldn't even feel the rash, even if I put a cool wash cloth on it, and it stayed for over 3 hours, she was unsure. So, I told Gee around 830 that I just wanted to go to bed. So I did. And I slept beautifully. From 930-630. A normal person's sleep schedule. So beautiful.

Now I am having back pain! I have changed chairs 3 times. The dining room chair I always use hurt my upper back (it sits too high for the table my laptop is on) the ottoman was too low and hurt my shoulders, and so I climbed up and stole Gee's giant office chair. Carrying this thing down the stairs is almost as hard as it was carrying it up. It is taller than me!

Overall though, I feel much better today, which is sad because I wanted to use this sickness to get out of a trip to the INLAWS! Yikes!

Today is also my sister's 17th birthday. She is spending it with abusive jerkface ken doll. (This is what I think I want to call him, he looks like ken, but has an abusive streak that I know barbie would not have put up with)

It is also my FIL's birthday. Our best married friend's birthday. (We have best friends, but then we have the best married friends. We see them a lot more and can relate better.) And my mortal enemy from elementary school's birthday. Never liked her.

Gee just came downstairs and upon listening to me explain the chair fiasco, he called me Goldilocks and then informed me that in his story, the Bear comes home and eats Goldilocks. He said:
"Num num numn num num"

Then I told him to slow down so I could record this for all of you. He then said "You just think you're so darn cute" and proceeded to disgust me with his distaste for doing dishes.

As I read all of that to him, he tried to put a metal bowl into the microwave, and luckily I noticed and called him out on it. He said he had done it before, and we didn't die then so it is fine. So, I put his food into a gladware thing and have decided my husband is not mature enough for metal bowls. So, I guess my mother will be getting some.

Are your husbands this stupid?

I hope they are not.

Also, on the little sister front, my sister is obviously still with this guy, and his sister, who I previously called ASIL, has come to realize he has anger issues. I spent a good part of Wednesday with her. We even found a sign explaining the cycle of abuse. I said abusive jerkface ken doll was at the remorseful stage where he apologizes profusely and vows it will never happen again. ASIL said that the arguing and escalation has already begun. We give it till next weekend. So, I have a week to learn how to handle it if it is worse. What if he hits my sister?

Normally my first instinct is murder and visions of a jail cell. So I need to start preparing myself now. I think I will just call the police, even if my sister asks me not to. ASIL has already said that if she is around when it happens, she will have no choice but to call the police on her own brother. I respect her very much for even being able to make that statement, but I will respect her even more if she can follow through.

I am extremely protective of my step siblings. I am extremely concerned for what this guy can do. My sister is the queen of football. She played with my brother, step dad and the entire neighborhood for most of her life. She has whooped some seriously tush, and has even been in a few fights on the field. (She once tackled our cousin too hard and he started screaming and hitting and kicking her. She took it like a champ and just threw him away from her. She was 12, he was 10.) I know she could fight back, and possibly win, this kid is a year older, he is not even fully grown, and he has long hair and earrings. If he attacked me, I would just go for the earrings. She just takes his yelling, but will she just take it if he hits her?

Also, my step father has decided that "This is just how some people argue." My response? "Some people argue and then kill each other too, do we just ignore that?" Everyone just said "Oh he could never do that! He has a heart of gold." I am sorry but if you can tell someone how worthless they are, and you try to control ever aspect on their life, if they suddenly stop listening or make you mad, what are you going to do? You will hit them, and Gee spent hours explaining to my sister how amazing she is and how she does not deserve this. If that pep talk worked, she may not sit back and take his yelling. Then what?

I am so stressed about this. Gee just keep reminding me that there is nothing I can do. I have to let her make the decision and I can only be there to support her. That I can only help her if she asks. That is hard. I liked it better when they were kids and I could step in and speak to the other kid, or the parent. (Their dad worked late and I usually dealt with the issues after school until he got home. My mom just didn't feel like a true parent to the kids for a long time.) How do I deal with it when I have to let go?

Anywho, I must change this subject because I could talk about it all day. Trust me.

Food. I love it. You love it. It is good for us. It is bad for us. I want to talk about food. I want a regular post about food.

My most recent food challenge? Stroganoff with no msg. I succeeded and found a gluten free, msg free, organic, beef broth and mushroom broth, combined with some flour and heavy cream, I replicated Campbell's golden mushroom. I also made my own cream of onion. The stroganoff was great. It was a tad bit runny at first but with time the sauce thickened a bit more.

I do not measure, I just know, but here is the recipe:

1 roast of some sort
1 bag of egg noodles
1 8 ounceish container of cream of onion
1 onion diced
1/2 container of beef broth
1/2 container of mushroom broth
1/2 cup of flour
1 packet cream cheese
1 container sour cream

You put the roast in a crock pot. Or I guess you special people can use an oven. Boil the broths with the flour and then once mixed correctly, pour over the roast, and cook with the cream of onion.

Then after the roast is cooked enough to be falling apart (I do mine on low 14-16 hours) add the sour cream and cream cheese straight into the crock pot or container. If you cut up the cream cheese, it should take another 20 minutes for it to melt and then you mix it up.

Then you take your boiled noodles, and pour those into the crock pot (or combine them in a stock pot if you want) and mix. It is amazing.


My other food challenge, I bought way too many strawberries. So I added them to everything this week. I used an entire carton of strawberries on bagels. I toasted the bagel (cinnamon raisin) and then put cream cheese on it and sliced the strawberries and tossed them on top. It was amazing. How have I never tried this before?

What are some of your food challenges?

Bobi

Cheaters

Someone viewed and did not comment. Chicken Poop.



I made my amazing beef stroganoff. Not good for the diet. I ate it. A LOT. Like 3000 calories worth of it in 2 days. I punished myself today. I took M for a run. The pitbull/boxer hauled ass and I just kind of followed. Not really. She is well trained and runs at my side. But at times I emotionally feel pulled. We have a tight bond. If i tried to explain it, you would think I am crazy.

Okay, I will kind of try. She can be sound asleep, and if I whisper her name, or any of the variations of her name I use, she will be at my side within 30 seconds no matter where she is. Right now she is napping and facing away from me. I just looked at her, slowly turning my head and she immediately looked back.

As for her attitude, when she was 7 months old my extremely fertile neighbor came over with her daughter who was just learning to roll over. I was in the kitchen and out of sight. M loved this baby like no other, and always stayed near her unless I was doing something cool. The neighbor was changing said baby's diaper and turned away to do something, leaving the baby on the couch unattended. (I never said she was a good mother) The baby rolled over. Sometime during the roll M must've stood up, and the baby ended up half on the couch and her other half on M's back. I have no idea just how long (no more than 10-20 seconds) she was like that, but when i walked into the room, that is how i found them. I ran over, laid the baby back onto her back and told M she would make a better mother than our neighbor. I told my neighbor what had happened and she laughed it off like it was no big deal. After that, anytime that baby was around, M and I stayed close no matter who was "watching" her.

A year later M had gone at least 10 months without seeing said baby. These old neighbors of our came to visit our house. The moment the baby, now a toddler, got out of her car seat she started squealing at M, and M jumped our 5 foot fence, and ran to that little girl. She kissed her and soon gave her a "tour". The toddler grabbed M's tail and M led her around like her tail was a leash and she showed said toddler all her toys and favorites places. The toddler spent the night that night, and M, who usually sleeps around the foot of my bed or the side, slept outside the door where the toddler slept. The door was wide open, but M has never been allowed to sleep in the same room with the little one, so she knew to stay at the entrance and not in the actual room. (This may also be because that is the future nursery and we have never really allowed M much time in there)

When we first brought M home, we were told by my mother and step-dad that no pitbull mix would EVER be allowed alone with my step siblings. Within months that had changed. My step dad said "The kids can only stay there if M is there" when I had the kids over to our old apartment. I should specify that the apartment was recommended by some friends and they said it was "GREAT AREA! SO SAFE!" and within 3 days of us moving there Gee broke up a fight outside our apartment and ended up getting stabbed. So, we stayed inside unless we had mace, and M.

M became our most valuable possession when I was 17 and she was around 5 months. It was December and I was about to turn 18. I took M down to see my Grandfather 212 miles away. At sunrise we stopped at a rest stop to pee and such. I had my mace in hand when I went inside, but M didn't want to get out to potty for some reason. I wasn't concerned since it had only been an hour since our last stop (i drink and pee a lot) so I settled into the car and got ready to pull out. Then I noticed a semi had turned into the car area not the trailer area, and he was in his truck, parked directly behind me, and blocking me in. I figured no big deal. I would wait him out.

Then i noticed a man walking closer and closer to us. He kept glancing at the truck. Then at us. M was relaxing in the back. But then this man got closer and closer. The semi driver still hadn't got out of his truck. I was getting worried and gripping my mace so tight. Then M\ popped up and nudged me a bit and sat in the front seat. The man walking towards us stopped and glanced at the semi, at me, and at M. He didn't stop. Then M barked. Just a normal dog bark. The guy stopped and fumbled with his shoe while glancing back at the semi. He nodded his head, and I realized something was not right. At this point i start the car and I am fully prepared to run this guy over (hoping my car would pop the curb) or hit the semi.

Then he stands back up and by now is 10 feet from us. M let our a growl and then barked a tough dog bark. Then guy took 2 more steps, and I dialed 9-1-1 in my phone, right as i was about to hit send, when the guy is maybe 6 feet from our car, M growled, snarled, and barked this scary-foam-out-the-mouth-bark, and the guy turned away, within 10 seconds the semi was moving, and I called 911 and let them know I was not stopping to talk to anyone. They said they would go to the rest stop. I never heard back but i drove 90 for about 30 minutes to get the heck away.

After that my husband and Grandfather made me a new travel rule: No Rest stops.

But after that, M became a very valuable member of the family. Heck, her first birthday party cost $300. We had 8 dogs, 5 people, and hundreds of toys. It was in July so a lot of the toys were water themed and therefore, according to the pet toy business, should cost an arm and a leg.

Okay well M is hungry and so am I, so we are going to scrounge up some food. I am happy to have shared about M with you guys even though it was not the direction I had intended to take. Someday soon I will write about just where she came from and why we are so alike.

Bobi

Final Meal?

If you were getting your final meal before a deat sentence, how would you like it?

Me? I would need 20 days of last meals. I would eat everything I have ever limited myself on. Everything bad for me. Everything that I know will kill me the next day. That is how I like my pregnancy announcements.

In the last year atleast 20 people I knwo have announced pregnancies and I believe as of a few days ago, all of them have miscarried or given birth. Seriously, 3 miscarriages atleast 17 births I can think of off the top of my head. Oh, and just remembered 1 more who is for 4 or 5 months along.

I dread these announcements like any infertile. But, I also still have hope for myself and I try to imagine what I would do and say to other infertiles if for some reason the "just relax" method I am using right now worked. Or if after IUI (which is seeming like an impossible goal) we succeed. (I have not come to terms with IVF ever being needed, so let me ignore that topic.)

I have always figured everyone is different. But when I asked my fellow IFers (several IF friends in real life now that I have started speaking out) they all felt my theory was best.

I love babies and pregnancies, they are devine. So, I would want to know, I would feel bad if someone intentionally did not tell me because they were afraid to hurt me. I also love hearing the different stories about experiences, symptoms and funny stories.

I would want someone to tell me in a text.

Preggers: Hey, How are you?

Me: Good, just getting off work, about to eat something, shower and go to bed.

Preggers: Oh yea, I made meatloaf for dinner. I had a great day. How about you?

Me: Yea, i had a pretty damn good day myself. Why was yours so great?

Preggers: Well, I have been feeling a little iffy lately and I took a test. I am pregnant.

Me: OMG THAT IS AWESOME! SO EXCITING!

And then the conversation to end. The preggers needs to just leave it at that until I ask for more torture. And I will once I have recovered and spent some time in bed crying.

This is my last meal. I like a nice appetizer with a quick meal and NO dessert! I will ask for a hot fudge cake if I want one! And I will.

How would you like your last meal?

Bobi