Friday Night Leftovers

Welcome to Friday Night Leftovers!

• What are you eating? I have been meaning to do a food post, but I am slacking. I recently made a gluten free, msg free version of my amazing stroganoff. Now if I could only make it fat and calories free. I also have been experimenting with Bagels. Just adding weird stuff to them, using them in odd ways, and loving them.
• I received a frantic call from my sister late last night. She is 17. Or will be in a few days. Her boyfriend is a total jerk though. I thought she was just being dramatic but then I witnessed it all for myself after I picked her up and rushed her to his house. He threatened suicide when she got mad at him, then turned off his phone to freak her out. Then refused to see her. So I took her to my house and let her cry on my couch. Then this morning I got to overhear just how bad this kid is. He screamed and yelled at her, saying demeaning and abusive things about her being "worthless without him" and many other things. Later he sent some awful text messages and my sister allowed me to read them. He called her every name in the book of "awful things t say to a teenage girl". So when I told Gee, he sat down with her and discussed abusive relationships and self esteem and how beautiful she is. Then he called my step dad and explained the situation. (All my step dad knew was his daughter was upset and his step daughter kidnapped her) This had to have been a hard conversation because my step dad loves my sister's boyfriend. He was not aware of just how awful this kid is. Even so, Gee still did not tell him everything, because we do not want my step dad killing this kid. Although Gee and I made some disturbing threats after my sister left, one of which involves locking the kid in our crawl space until this snow melts, the crawlspace floods and the kid drowns slowly in ice cold water. (We were really angry here and have no intention of following through) Then while I was out shoveling, Gee took my sister to the game room and forced her to play video games. During this time I came inside and started getting ready to take my sister home. Then Gee's phone rang, this kid got Ge's number from his sister and was demanding to talk to my sister. Gee hung up on him. (Little sister had given me her phone and I had put it on silent so she could calm down)

Then I took my sister home, sat next to her as she listened to voicemails of her boyfriend screaming like a toddler who cannot have a cookie, kissed her, and was dismissed. I made it a mile before she called me. Said boyfriend was accusing her of sleeping with my husband. He said that was the only reason Gee would encourage them to break up, because Gee wants her, and has wanted her since she was 12 years old when he first met her.

I should mention that Gee lived in the same house as my sister for 2 years, she has spent countless nights with us, when Gee was in boot camp he sent a letter to her telling her how she is the sister he never had. (His sister by then was MIA) They play video games together and Gee makes fun of her, Gee is protective of her and encourages me to spend more time with her. She has been calling him her BIL since the second month of my relationship with him. Trust me folks, they have only been alone together for more than 30 minutes maybe 4 times this entire time.

When I came home and told Gee, the threats began. He called my ASIL (which is the sisters boyfriends sister) and explained that she needed to rein this kid in. She did. And fast. The kid showed up at my step dad's house with flowers and a big hand print where ASIL had slapped some sense into him.

The sad part? My sister is going back with him. The good part, she has agreed this is his last chance, and next time he yells at her she is going to smile, and say "Goodbye" and we will changer her number. I know how abusive relationships work, so I doubt she will have the balls to do it, but I also know that if we try to force her away from him, she will want to go back even more. All I want to do is run the kid over.

• What would you do?
• I got alot of cleaning done. Very excited.
• Dogs really need a bath, but everytime I have time to do it, it SNOWS!
• I am sick of winter and the next person who says "I love winter" is going to shovel my sidewalks
• Speaking of sidewalks, I did a good deed, my neighbor (Old man who is very nosey) was out shoveling and said he needed a break, that he had double bypass a year ago. So during his break, I shoveled his entire driveway. He looked very happy when he came back outside.
• My neighbors have a much bigger driveway than I realized.

Anywho, I must now go relax and get ready for bed. Im cleaning two houses tomorrow, then digging out Gee's car, sending him off to work, and having game night with some friends. Check out what Danifred is talking about.

Bobi

The Crying Post

I am crying as I write this so bear with me.

I took Gee job hunting all day today. We called my Uncle G who retired 4 years ago from a wonderful company that he and 3 other family members either work at or have worked at. He agreed to let us "name drop". So he did. They seemed interested and were actually reading his resume as he left instead of just shoving it in a pile.

When he got in the car he had a friend calling him, so he answered, but I didnt see. And very LOUDLY I said

"If you get this job, I will go get IUI immediately and you can get your new truck if it can fit a carseat!"

Then he said "Oh, hey A"

And A must have asked about what I said, because Gee went on to explain IUI, then IVF, (in terms of "I cum into a cup, they wash the semen so its only sperm swimming around") then what exactly is wrong with us. Okay, me.


A's brother, Big A shall be his name, is close to me so he has heard little bits and pieces, but he is like 19 and oblivious to the world, but A is our future Pastor, he is studying environmental science but has dreams of one day sharing his love of God. So, let the tears fall, Gee put him on speaker and A gave me such a wonderful and inspirational speech that I felt like I could seriously turn around, look in the backseat and their would be a baby.

there wasnt. I checked.

Then Gee talked a little more about it, and his voice started to crack, and his face turned red, and I realized, my husband, who I have only seen cry 2 times, was fighting to hold back tears.


AWFUL! I feel AWFUL! My body is the failure, my body is the reason we do not have a child. Why must HE suffer. He is a wonderful man who loves a woman who has a failure of a body! He does not deserve this!


Then his song came on and I remembered, he did not marry me for children. He married me for me.

Here is his song. It is actually about Rob Thomas's wife who has an autoimmune disorder.



Beautiful.




Bobi

Rich. Whore. Bitch.

Those are the words that were used to describe yours truly as she exited the YWCA this afternoon. I had walked in and was in the middle of culture shock.
Babies on the floor screaming. Ghetto mama's screaming at each other. And no one caring for either.

So after I checked in with the receptionist, I sat my butt down at the chair farthest from the drama and started texting a few friends. Then the receptionist called me back up and I pulled my Coach wallet from 1996 out of my purse and gave her my I.D. and was sent to the fingerprinting room.
When I finished I walked out and stopped to hold the door for a woman carrying in a toddler and an infant. Then I heard "Fucking Rich Whore. Stupid Bitch, thinking she is better than us."
First of all, I do not believe that any living creature is better than another. But I believe we make better choices than others. Sitting there just reminded me how lucky I am. And how unlucky I am. These women probably did not realize I was jealous of them.

They have children. Lots of children. This irony of infertility amazes me. How can a woman living at the YWCA get pregnant but a woman with her own home, a wedding ring, and financial stability not get pregnant?

I am Still Here

I am still alive and well. My new phone will not let me post or comment from it! I am going to see if there is a blogger app or anything I can do to rectify this because I need to be able to comment!

Cleaning job is awesome, but I am leaving it. Why? The preschool/daycare, put me in the toddler room and watched how I interacted with the crazy kids and they loved it. So, they want me fulltime. I would make more money cleaning, but who can turn down toddlers?

That is actually what Gee said when I called him. I said "Honey, what should I do?" and he said "Well, I would love to tell you to go with the money, but I know you cannot walk away from toddlers. Eighteen to Twenty-Four months is your favorite age and they are offering you exactly what you want." He knows me well.

Last night I went bowling with my family and invited my favorite employee, lets call her ASIL, for almost-sister-in-law, since she is my sister's fiance's sister. It is a stretch, but I love her so much I will adopt her into the family. She informed me that my replacement, has left the building. She said one of my consumers chased her out of the building screaming that he wanted me. She put in her 2 weeks within minutes. She didnt even make it out of training. Then after bowling, ASIL went to buy a pregnancy test.
Did I say how i was mentally able to count days for a broken condom incident for a friend, and determined that on day 20 of her cycle, she wouldnt be pregnant? And it only took me a minute? Well, she was 3 days late today, and tested.

I informed her last night that if it were positive, and her I-dont-want-babies-until-I-am-thirtysomething-self got pregnant, I would cry like a freaking baby. She said she would cry too. We laughed it off and thought nothing of it.

This is the text I woke up to:

:'(

I sent:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

She sent: I am losing my mind.

I sent: Me too!

And then I realized she had no one besides her boyfriend and needed a big sisterly or motherly approach and I went into high gear. I went prenatal shopping, gave her my bottle of folic acid, set her up with "What to expect" and a babydotcom account, and opened her developmental disability book and showed her how a fetus develops and how the drink I gave her on day 22 of her cycle will probably not cause long term issues. Then we made a plan, who to tell and when. I helped her make a list of doctors to call (Her mother died when she was 11 and she has had alot of on again off again depression since then) and medicine not to take until she gets the okay from her doctor. Then I got her excited. I talked about how much she loves children, how this is an adventure and she has been given such a wonderful gift and opportunity. I even said how her mother is probably looking down and is so happy for this blessing. Then I hugged my friend and left her.


AND I:


:'(

Cried


But I will make the best of this. I am now the only person in my close group of friends who is not pregnant. Or has a child already. This includes my infertile friends.

I feel lost and alone in this big cruel world. Gee has been taking this cycle very seriously. He has been coming home, getting some food, and having sex with my sleeping body. Yep, because I have to be up at 8 am when I work and the every other day has fallen on my days off. So, sleep sex! It sucks, and I feel bad, but it isnt about feeling good dammit it is about pumping babies!

I noticed, right after Gee left for work Friday night, that I had cervical mucous! It was stretchy. And thick. I had some minor cramps that day but I thought it was sore muscles from working so hard. Then I did some math, realized it was day 12, and called George. He was due to have sexual relations with me Saturday morning anyway, but now he knew to hurry and push in all the way. So, he did. Lets hope it works. I am taking evening primrose, black cohosh, dong quoi, and mucinex. No clomid. I forgot about it in my effort to go all herbal.

Anywho, I have to get Gee up for work.

Bobi

Happy 50TH!

HAPPY 50TH POST!

Eh, not so happy really. Job is great, next Monday I start at the preschool.
Not so great, our taxes. I forgot that this year we have to pay back our Home Buyer's credit. Which is $500. That still means we get a bit back right? WRONG.
Gee's work did not take out any school taxes. So, we owed them a lot. After all is said and done, we owe $150.
I have only owed once before, and that was $18000 from inheritance. This seriously sucks. I would have been happy with breaking even, but paying is just not acceptable. And for the third year in a row I was told "Better start making those little tax deductions" I HAVE BEEN TRYING! Cant I add up that in the last year I have had 2 miscarriages, add them up, which is 14 weeks or so, and claim them for 14 weeks? Or can I just get credit for trying? My best friend has two children, she told me her return.....wait for it...

wait for it......










$7591!!!!!!!!!

I would take 1/100 of that.

Damn babies. I only have a month to get knocked up in order to get one for next year. I am willing to bet $2000 that it will not happen. Any takers?

Oh, and my last infertile real life friend, is pregnant.

I am SO LONELY!




Not my normal musical preference, but dammit, I am So Lonely.


Bobi

I want! I want! I need!

So Gee wants to take the $6000 in savings, and use $3000 of it for a down payment on a truck for him. Then sell his car, for $2000, add that to the downpayment, and then put our measly $1000 tax return into the savings account.
GAH!
That would mean, I would have to save another $4000 (we try to always have atleast a few thousand in the bank.) for IUI! (I am not going to an RE at the moment because I can't decide if I want my current OBGYN (who performs IUI's) to do it, or to go to a new obgyn and then travel an hour or 4 to see an RE) This is not what I wanted. I want IUI asap.
He wants a new truck. I want a baby. He wants a car to put a baby in. I want a car that is decent for a baby. And most trucks, unless they have an extended cab and cost an arm and a leg, are not.
I do believe we deserve to splurge a little. He can get a new video game or something, and I can get the Amazon Kindle.
He disagrees.
BUT I NEED IT!
My backseat has 10-20 books in it. Why? Because I always need one when I don't have one! So I try to carry one in my purse at all times. So I switch them in and out of my purse. A Kindle would make this so much easier!
He says that if he had a truck he could get a plow thingy and make extra money, and help our friends move, etc!
Any suggestions?

I should also mention, Gee takes awful care of his vehicles. The car he has now, was my first car. I replaced the tranny and gave it to him after he destroyed his last car. He has since: broke the automatic seat, broke a window, got it stuck 200000 times, broke the cruise control, jammed the tilt wheel, only had 6 oil changes in 3 years, etc. So my kindle will probably last longer than his damn truck!

Just needed to share that before anyone could give an opinion.

Justice For ALL!

I had a case worker ask me several questions today. She noticed that anytime something happens with one of my consumers, the company blames me, even though the consumer says I only work with him 2 days a week. So how can it be my fault?

These questions showed several illegal actions. And at the end of the conversation she informed me that I would not be getting in trouble for any of this because I had proof that it was not me, it was the company. But, I could either stay, or quit. She said that very shortly, my company will find out someone made allegations against them for abuse, neglect, etc. And they will soon find out it was her and that I helped. I figure, I like unemployment, so I am going to stay part time. But I will be reporting everything to her. :)


Bobi

I still have not found my keys. And my employee informed me that she also lost her keys, and because one if a work key, BBBB wants to charge her to replace all the locks in the office and all the staff keys now. Which with 6 employees total in our county, and 3 doors, I think that could get expensive. Maybe I should confess to BBBB that I lost my keys and this employee and I? can split the bill? I bet BBBB would just want us each to pay the full amount.

And did I mentioned how BBBB told my staff to drive in the level 3? Maybe we should rethink this. Because I hit an idiot.

Saturday we were going to get 4-6 inches in the afternoon. Well, it started at 11 am and by 3 when I got off work, it was at 6 inches and still going. I was driving 20 mph down main street in this annoying college town that I work in most days, when suddenly I noticed all the cars in the other lane slowing down. I braked slightly but did not see anything. So, I continued at around 15 mph. Then I see why they slowed down, a giant truck was pulling out of a parking lot, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! So, I hit my brakes, and watched as 3 other cars spun out to avoid hitting this guy. But as you know, braking aint easy on ice. So, my 15 mph driving became a much faster mile per hour spin out, and my car did a 180.
I used to work at a chiropractor and I remember him saying "Yeah, it hurts less if you relax" and dammit I did very well, I locked my fingers around the wheel, and relaxed everything else. I was like a noodle. Then, since my back end was going to be the one hitting this truck, I turned my head to watch the impact like an idiot.

I slammed into his bumper, and gave him a shove forward, and wouldn't you know, te asshole kept GOING! So, I pulled into a Wendy's parking lot with 3 other cars (the others who had spun out) called 911 and waited. But guess what? All I knew was the truck was big, and blue. And no one else had a chance to see his license plate. So, somewhere, in this big world, is a guy with a baseball hat, driving a big blue truck, who owes me a hub cap!

Luckily, that is it. I may have some damage to the tire, but my hub cap fell off, and I was not walking back onto this icey road with all these idiotic college students driving like maniacs, just to find a hub cap. I like living, its nice, Iplan to keep doing it.

So, my poor car has had so much drama around it in the last few days, that I feel like kissing t for not falling to pieces.

Also, I should mention, my car did not need towed or anything, the dealer and tow company lied to me. I called AAA to see about getting the approval for the tow, and they informed me a locksmith with a special computer can make me a key and program the chip to my car, while it sits in my driveway. All for the bargain price of $110. So, FIFI, as I call my car, is good as new.

Also, I got a job as a maid. Hey, I have nothing against cleaning someone's house if I can have the wonderful normal hours of 9-5 and weekends off. So, I can go to school on evenings and weekends. LOVE IT!
While working as a maid I will be part time, but making more money than I am now! PRETTY COOL? (Public service is usually not a high paying job anyway, but my company also gets paid twice as much by the state as they pay me....so they make my wage for themselves for every hour that I work.) So, I will probably only work there 3 days a week.

Tomorrow I have an interview at another place, A PRESCHOOL! They want me to work in their special needs room as a sub. They expect me to work maybe 1 or 2 days a week (STILL NO WEEKENDS and I will have REGULAR HOURS!) and I will be making just as much there as I am now.

My current company probably wants me totally gone, but one of my consumer's is also my Goddaughter, and her mother has requested that I either A) visit her weekly, or B) get paid to visit her weekly. I like money, so I will probably stay on and only work with my Goddaughter who has Noonan Syndrome.

So, I will have 3 part time jobs and work fewer days and hours, and still end up making more money. I love it!

Also, I love blogging. Okay, I love comments. And the fact that I finally have a place to discuss BBBB and all the things she does, without listening to my wonderful husband tell me to just quit already. I am attached to my consumers. They become family. One of my friends saw that on my coach wallet I have a sticker of Scooby Doo, a bite mark, and a note hanging out that says, in very sloppy handwriting "I tank God evy day tat you halp me", they immediately mocked the note, but I kept it, because to me, it means that no matter what BBBB says, I am good at my job.
Somehow, blogging reminds me of this, maybe it is the release of my stress, or the comments of support, but either way, blogging has reminded me of why I love my job. Thank you Blogger.


Oh, and AF finally arrived. Damn woman only took 7.5 weeks!

Bobi

Friday Night Leftovers

I will be joining Danifred in Friday Night Leftovers!

• I now have to get a key made. For a car with a microchip. From what I understand this entails getting a key ordered. Having key come in. Towing car to dealership, having them program the key to the car, and then being out atleast $200 for all of the above. All because I dug Gee out of the driveway.


• I am an idiot.


• The dogs are surprisingly peaceful today. I like it.


• My pregnant employee went off on me today because she got called in to work for me this morning. She says I am just making excuses not to work. Oh I Wish! That would be soooo much cheaper.


• And healthier as I have realized all the exhaust fumes really did me in.


• Also, said employee threatened to "kick my ass" next time she sees me. I love her. Gee, upon seeing me lying in bed trying to decide if I should remain professional or if I should just go crazy and I-am-a-15-year-old-girl on her, took my phone away and informed her that she is harrassing his wife, and threatening her, and that he will be calling the cops if she does not grow up immediately and knock it off. She sent one more text of "Call the cops! They cant protect her" and then stopped.


• Which might have had something to do with the fact that Gee called my BBBB and informed her that if said employee did not immediately stop, he would call the police, and because said employee was spouting things BBBB had told her, he would get my company, or atleast BBBB for slander. Apparently, it worked like a charm. Legal? I dont know or even care.


• I love Gee, even if he did hang up on me last night in the middle of my emotional breakdown.


• Also, does anyone have a healthy recipe for stroganoff? At 500 calories a serving, I feel disgusting everytime I eat it. But it is sooooo good.


• Someday I may share my recipe. Someone should remind me, and then I will share one of my 1000 ways to dress up mac and cheese.
• After 7 wks and 2 days, I still have not bled. I have started twice, just small spotting, but that is it! I took a test this morning. I have some black cohosh, and I am thinking about taking it because I got a BFN.

Thank you for joining me in my first ever (and boring because I am too tired) Friday Night Leftovers!

Now head over to Danifred's Sippy Cups Are Not For Starbucks and give her a blogging pep talk because she is feeling a little under the weather and she forgot why she enjoys entertaining us all so much!

Bobi

my night from hell

I won't say this was the worst night ever, because I have had worse. But this was like the day that never quit!

I agreed to work morning shift tomorrow for one of my girls so I could take a consumer to the doctor. I needed to be up by 630 and out the door by 7.
Gee had still not dug out his car, so he had planned to take mine. But since I was going to be heading to work at 7 and he doesn't get off work until 7, it wasn't going to work. So I agreed to dig his car out at 845 when I got off work. So I start shoveling, and its snow, with ice in the middle. So it was very heavy and my shovel and legs couldn't break the ice unless I tried really hard.
I had my car keys in my pocket as I did this. At some points after 30 minutes of shoveling, I got so tired I would get on my hands and knees, in the snow, and use my arm to pull the snow out from under the tire. Finally I got out. Halfway. The back wheels were out, the front were in. Neither was touching the ground due to snow built up under the car. So my friendly 17 year old neighbor shows up with a tow strap, hooks me up and yanks me out. It was fun getting yanked back so hard. Kind of like a roller coaster.
Then Gee gets in his car and leaves. And I remember that in my rush to get him unstuck, I left my cell phone, wallet, purse, etc. In my car. So I reach into my pocket to grab my keys. No keys. I go check kitchen table. No keys. Those are the places I wouldve put them. So I ransacked the house. No keys. No phone to see if Gee has them. So I walk. All the lights are out at all my neighbors, so I walk. I make it to circle k. I have now been outside for an hour and I'm crying.
While getting Gee out I inhaled a lot of exhaust fumes and I am feeling dizzy, sick, and I can barely breath. So I call Gee from circle k. He says he doesn't have them. I get emotional and he HANGS up!
So I walk crying back home, search the driveway, the walkway, everywhere. Finally I get on facebook and make a plea for help. Someone call my mommy!
So I walk back to circle k and call my mom. Gee has already called her she is on her way. By now it is 1030, I've been outside almost 2 hours. From my knees down my pants are frozen. Solid. Won't move! Very cold.
My mom arrives, we search. We don't find a thing. I need my blackberry so I can atleast call off work! So I call 911 and they say they are on their way. So I wait. It was 1045 when I called. They showed up at 1145 and the officer makes me hold his flash light while he tries to unlock my doors. All fine and dandy. But I've been outside for the majority of the last 3 hours and its below 0! No one seems to get just how cold I am. He unlocks my car, I get my phone, let everyone know I am okay (16 missed calls. Word travels fast), let face.book know I am okay, and then my mom drove me to Gee's work. I figure I may have dropped them or they slid out of my pocket, in his car. They werent there. And his coworkers saw me at my worst.
They always say how cute I am, all short and sweet, how beautiful I am, how lucky he is, etc. It usually boosts my self esteem. Not today. I was red, stiff, could hardly walk, and sore.

So I left. My mother drove me home, commented on how bad my chest sounds, how bad my throat sounds, and left me. She has to be up for work in 4 hours, so I am okay with it. I felt bad enough calling her,
So then I dropped all my stuff on my walkway, fell and hurt my ankle. (More. It was already sore) (I did this all in winter boots that also have heels so you can wear them with a nice outfit and no one will know)
Then I got nekkid. I had a faintly purple but mostly bright red ass and legs. And my face was the color of grammar school red. So I got in the tub. And fell.
So I checked my facebook, and started this blog post.

As of now my legs and ass look normal, face is still gross though. I think its wind burn. And other than a few cuts, future bruises, some swelling and 2 blisters, I am safe and sound. And warm. Goodnight.

Bobi

Oh!

I forgot to mention, Sarah may be a good luck charm, but I did not take her to the interview with me, so it was awful. Which was not really my fault. This was obviously a scam. Actually, it was a scam. A discovered scam. But usually they operate off Craigslist job searches, not any of the ones I posted my resume on. So, I couldnt find anything about it until i say the interviewer's name, searched that alone with the company, and then TADA! So, I outted him, and was immediately dropped like a hot potato.


Anywho, have to go, one of my employees just text me and said BBBB is working from home today (she couldn't make it into the office, it must be laziness) but is calling all my staff screaming and yelling at them. So far 2 have hung up, and one has professed all her sins.

Bobi

I am not Professional.

We were at a level 3 snow emergency last night.
BBBB told my employees they still had to go in.
But because we are not considered "Emergency" workers, we were told by a police officer to stay off the roads.
I agreed with this and told BBBB that my employees lives are not worth 3 hours pay, and that our consumer's family lives with him anyway, they can pass meds if we cannot make it in.
BBBB yelled and screamed at me. Saying things such as "WE are going to lose his medicaid contract!" "His family are not staff" "Youre staff are being lazy!" etc. I said "No, you will not speak to me like this. Call me when you can control yourself." And then i hung up. I proceeded to call BBBB's boss, and he said "She is pregnant, what do you expect?" and i replied "Well, thats fine because I was pregnant a month ago, and i missed my chance to do this" and hung up on him.
No one has called me back. My employees arranged it so the ones who lived a block away could head in, and my employee who lives out by me (26 miles and 40 minutes on a good day) and I could sit on our asses today.
When I told my husband how much hanging up I did last night, he goes "Geez! Theyre gonna fire you now." They wont. How do I know? I am 12 days away from being gone, and they really do not want to pay unemployment. It took 4 no call no shows, countless call offs, countless last minute call offs, and 3 weeks of a girl (Who later said she had been trying to get fired for 6 months) just not doing her job, for them to fire her.

So, I am safe, and I am no longer professional. Atleast not if "Professional" are the same thing as BBBB and her boss are. I am nothing like that!



Bobi