Friday Night Leftovers the Oh! Yeah! Hi! Edition

Sorry. It has been a long time. I apologize. I have been commenting and leaving little tidbits there. So, you all should know I am alive.

I guess my radio silence started after a friend, lets call her Klee, had the idea to start a blog. I gave her the links to a few friends, including Jen. Jen had just suffered a loss and is always such a great blogger that I thought she would be one of the top 3 blogs to recommend.

I did not realize that Klee's friend Carol was 9 months pregnant, had no life, and was a stalker of sorts. By reading the comments on Jen's loss and the story I told to try and distract her while she waited for Luke, Carol and Klee found me. I had stressed just how much I did not want to be found. I have let my sister, and my friend Katie read this blog. That is it. Not even Gee.

This is my one place to be free. To say what I want. To shout from the mountain. I like it private. I like it safe. I like to know that I can say "So and so cheated on their pregnant girlfriend." and no one will know who I am talking about!

If BBBB ever came accross this blog, she would either A) Kill herself B) Sue me C) Apologize. I only like one of those options and it is the least likely. I like things private. Klee and Carol are also on my facebook discussing pregnancy every day. They discuss it with people who I discuss on here all the time. Hell, I am pretty damn sure I have bitched about both Klee and Carol on here many times. But that is why THIS IS MY SPACE!

So, I had debated on going to invite only. But I like new people coming in. Then I find their blogs and read them, and I feel more of a member of the community. I debated on switching to a different blog and just shooting an email out to a few people telling them where to go. But if Carol ever gets bored again (her newborn apparently is a great sleeper), I will have the same issue.

My mind has been over stressed, over anxious, over worked, just thinking about how much I wanted to blog. But these two people ruined it for me. They ruined the one free place I had. Something all my own.

I will not stand for it. So until I come up with a better option, I will continue blogging, and if Carol and Klee read, that is fine, but I will never discuss my blog with them. If they comment, I will not answer. In RL if they mention it, I will probably snap, and then refuse to answer. This is my private space.

Oh, and if either one of them piss me off to the point where I have to tell someone, Yep, you guessed it, I will come here. And I will say what I want. They crossed a boundary that I had clearly set, and if they get hurt, I can honestly say, I will not feel bad.

Now on to

LEFTOVERS!

• I am actually farther along than they believed. My period started on 2-7-11 but I ovulated on 2-14 to 2-17. Ultrasound will determine just how far, but I am guessing 9wk6d.


• I felt "quickening" and nearly shit my pants. I never expected that. It has nly happened twice and only when I am laying on my stomach.


• Went to the midwife. Gee freaked out. He can't handle the idea of no hospital, no Doctor, etc. So, we compromised. I will be going to a group. One OB (my first male ob) who works with 4 or 5 midwives. The midwives do everything, but the OB is there for emergencies and such. I will be giving birth ina hospital. Only one in our area offers waterbirth and these midwives highly recommend it. First appointment on the 18th!


• I want to take Bradley Method birthing classes. Gee doesn't understand this.


• I love my job.


• Gee is holding a lot of reservations and is afraid of this pregnancy. He has only mentioned it once without a prompt.


• Gee also does not believe in cravings, hormones or eating to avoid morning sickness. Bitch ate my roll. I had big plans for that roll. Had to eat peanut butter toast with no milk and it made me throw up! Too dry!


• Spent $60 in 3 days just to satisfy cravings. Never again.


• Can't poop.

Anywho, go check out Danifred who I am sure can poop.

Bobi

Goodness! I need to post more. I am soooo sorry. I promise, I will update atleast once a week. Cross my Heart.

I drink 200 ounces of water a day, that is just water, I also drink milk, and sprite throughout my day. I pee every 2 hours. I seriously cannot survive without a bottle of water.

Gee is a butt. Seriously, I understand he does not want to get his hopes up, but pick up a book! I am not lying when I say that I cant make dinner because the raw meat will make me hurl. I am not lying when I say that I will cut you if you eat my breakfast again.

Last night I sat my breakfast (rolls from texas roadhouse) in the microwave. I planned to eat 1 roll and toss in a breakfast link and walk out the door at 720 am. Instead, at 716 my husband says he ate my roll and all the breakfast links, and I start to panic. I have about 20 minutes before the hurling will begin if I do not get something besides water and tums into my stomach. So, I drive to the gas station (going 50 in a 35 so I wont be late) and get some stupid peanut butter crackers, and eat them on my way to work. Then I realize one of my toddlers has a peanut butter allergy. And I have it on my hands and I cant get it out of my mouth. So, I have to waste an entire bottle of water gargling, chew a nasty old piece of gum, and scrub my hands, all before I can go into my room. Now do you see why I am going to cut him?

So when I explained why breakfast is so important, he said "The baby doesnt know if you dont eat! You'll be fine."

IT IS NOT TH BABY! IT IS THE HORMONES THE BABY IS CAUSING DIPWAD!

Essentially I have solved all morning sickness issues. I drink a bottle of water when I get up as I swallow 2 tums. Then I get ready and eat my breakfast as I walk out the door. When I get to work, within an hour it is snack time, so I snack. Then I eat lunch at work. It is healthy toddler food, so I get alot of fruit and veggies. Then 2 hours later it is snack again, so I snack. This small toddler portion every 2 hours or so works great! Then I work 4 hours, and the moment I get to my car, I snack on something else. Then I come home, eat something quick, easy and not involving raw meat, and I go to bed.

This weekend was a test. There is not enough food in my house that does not involve raw meat. So, I ate taco bell and a mcdonalds milkshake. This goes against all my eating principles. But it was good. Sometimes you have to eat some crap in order to survive right?

We are having all kinds of drama with insurance. I think it has been settled, I will be going on Gee's insurance. I just hope I can get enrolled in time for my doctor's appointment. Also, thyroid issues, the last time I actually made it to a doctor before I miscarried, I was told to stop my thyroid medication because I was producing enough during pregnancy. Well, I hope it is the same this time because I kind of slacked and forgot to order my thyroid pills before my insurance ran out. And since I am due to see my doctor again, I can't get him to order me any until he sees me. And he can't see me until June. Even after I told him I am pregnant. So, I looked in my pregnancy book and it said I should take them, but that undiagnosed hypothyroidism has been linked to lower IQ scores but no studies have been sure if that was the exact cause. SO? Am I okay? I figure, Gee has a very mild aspergers, so his IQ is out of this world, but his social skills suck. I have a slightly above average IQ but my social skills annoy the crap out of Gee (aka theyre fine) so I am fine right? I promise I will drink some OJ right now (even though I currently detest OJ) and make sure I pop some DHA. Worse comes to Worst, my obgyn will come up with a solution and everything will be fine. (I am putting myself in a total bubble here and not stressing about anything can you tell?)

Also, all my toddlies (as I mentally call them) are sick. The cough almost sounds like croup and theyre taking turns running a 101ish fever. I sent a few home today. After they coughed, sneezed, and sweat all over me with their little sad sicky poo faces! (I am a sucker for a sick crabby child. I held a 32 pounder for an hour just so she could nap until her mother got there.)

Anywho, I should eat something.

OH! Congratulations SARAH!

And Jen!



Bobi

I am Still Here

I am still alive and well. My new phone will not let me post or comment from it! I am going to see if there is a blogger app or anything I can do to rectify this because I need to be able to comment!

Cleaning job is awesome, but I am leaving it. Why? The preschool/daycare, put me in the toddler room and watched how I interacted with the crazy kids and they loved it. So, they want me fulltime. I would make more money cleaning, but who can turn down toddlers?

That is actually what Gee said when I called him. I said "Honey, what should I do?" and he said "Well, I would love to tell you to go with the money, but I know you cannot walk away from toddlers. Eighteen to Twenty-Four months is your favorite age and they are offering you exactly what you want." He knows me well.

Last night I went bowling with my family and invited my favorite employee, lets call her ASIL, for almost-sister-in-law, since she is my sister's fiance's sister. It is a stretch, but I love her so much I will adopt her into the family. She informed me that my replacement, has left the building. She said one of my consumers chased her out of the building screaming that he wanted me. She put in her 2 weeks within minutes. She didnt even make it out of training. Then after bowling, ASIL went to buy a pregnancy test.
Did I say how i was mentally able to count days for a broken condom incident for a friend, and determined that on day 20 of her cycle, she wouldnt be pregnant? And it only took me a minute? Well, she was 3 days late today, and tested.

I informed her last night that if it were positive, and her I-dont-want-babies-until-I-am-thirtysomething-self got pregnant, I would cry like a freaking baby. She said she would cry too. We laughed it off and thought nothing of it.

This is the text I woke up to:

:'(

I sent:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

She sent: I am losing my mind.

I sent: Me too!

And then I realized she had no one besides her boyfriend and needed a big sisterly or motherly approach and I went into high gear. I went prenatal shopping, gave her my bottle of folic acid, set her up with "What to expect" and a babydotcom account, and opened her developmental disability book and showed her how a fetus develops and how the drink I gave her on day 22 of her cycle will probably not cause long term issues. Then we made a plan, who to tell and when. I helped her make a list of doctors to call (Her mother died when she was 11 and she has had alot of on again off again depression since then) and medicine not to take until she gets the okay from her doctor. Then I got her excited. I talked about how much she loves children, how this is an adventure and she has been given such a wonderful gift and opportunity. I even said how her mother is probably looking down and is so happy for this blessing. Then I hugged my friend and left her.


AND I:


:'(

Cried


But I will make the best of this. I am now the only person in my close group of friends who is not pregnant. Or has a child already. This includes my infertile friends.

I feel lost and alone in this big cruel world. Gee has been taking this cycle very seriously. He has been coming home, getting some food, and having sex with my sleeping body. Yep, because I have to be up at 8 am when I work and the every other day has fallen on my days off. So, sleep sex! It sucks, and I feel bad, but it isnt about feeling good dammit it is about pumping babies!

I noticed, right after Gee left for work Friday night, that I had cervical mucous! It was stretchy. And thick. I had some minor cramps that day but I thought it was sore muscles from working so hard. Then I did some math, realized it was day 12, and called George. He was due to have sexual relations with me Saturday morning anyway, but now he knew to hurry and push in all the way. So, he did. Lets hope it works. I am taking evening primrose, black cohosh, dong quoi, and mucinex. No clomid. I forgot about it in my effort to go all herbal.

Anywho, I have to get Gee up for work.

Bobi

HELP WANTED!

And needed.

So, Wednesday will be 7 weeks since the miscarriage. I still have not bled. A friend of mine (old boss who is now pregnant!*) had an extra test. She took a test on my birthday and it was positive at like 11 at night after eating and drinking all day. I informed her that I would rather wait, but I hadn't peed all day, so I said what the hell.

BFN

But I am not taking it too serious. But I am also not getting my hopes up. Plus, from what the wise interwebs have told me, my uterine lining will be thinner since the miscarriage and it can take several cycles to get back to normal.

If I have not bled, Friday morning I am making Gee bring home a test for me to urinate on. I find myself urinating on a lot of sticks these days.

On a lighter note, my employee who bleeds every 28 days, and for 3 or 4 days each time, (she says she always starts after 1 pm but before 8 pm, how ODD?) had a condom break. She said she has been a wreck all weekend over it. But I am a smart cookie so I set off to do some math. If your first day of your last period was the 10th, and you had sex on the 28th, you are not pregnant. I know this because, I am a SMART COOKIE!

Oh, and BBBB will not be sued. Just because PregnantEmployee is doing her stna classes anyway, and is out of there after her maternity leave anyway. (She worked 72 hours last week and has realized why I hate my job. I love her now) (and no I didn't schedule her for that, she picked up 30 hours. I am not that mean)





*Old Boss became pregnant thanks to Doctor WONDERFUL! I am looking into him. He had a consultation with her in November, and looked at the blood work her old OBGYN ordered, and said "This test, this test, this test, and this test, are useless." She still had them done, and went back to her old OBGYN and they said "Everything is fine, you need IUI" So, they provided her with no reason for her miscarriage but said she needed IUI. She wanted a second opinion so she had ANOTHER FREE consultation with Dr. WONDERFUL and he informed her that her B6 is very low, that she has a chromosomal abnormality causing that, and that she does not need IUI as of yet. She took some vitamins and minerals, and BAM! She is pregnant within 3 weeks! They check her progesterone, she needed some. She has taken some. She is 9 weeks. FARTHER THAN SHE HAS EVER MADE IT! Very proud of her. And Dr. Wonderful!


Bobi

A Tale of Two Text Messages.

Wednesday morning i woke up, went to the bathroom, got ready and went to my employees house. Then I used her bathroom and went to work. Then i sat all giddy and giddy and happy at work. Then i felt wet and went to the bathroom and proceeded to walk through the rest of my day as a zombie until i got to my car and called my doctor. Why? Let me explain.

Last Wednesday I started spotting. Then stopped. Then started. Then stopped again on Friday and didn't bleed after that. Seeing how i was on day 49 of my cycle i was eagerly anticipating a period. So, Wednesday morning, a week after the spotting started, i went to my employee's house and used one of her pregnancy tests. (She is pregnant but had 2 or 3 leftovers from failed cycles) It was positive. So at 2 pm i left her house, grabbed a bite to eat and went to work at 3. Super excited. And plotting one of the many ways to tell Gee.

I worked and smiled all day.

Then around 10 I felt wet. And I went to the bathroom. And i had bright red blood. And immediately upon seeing it, i started cramping. Luckily i had black pants on, so i faked it for an hour and then ran to my car, and paged my doctor.

So, that night, i sent out two text messages. The first:

I'M PREGNANT!

The second:

And I'm 99.9% sure I'm miscarrying.

And i was right.


But when i went to the doctor, the nurse tried to tell me that it is possible to get a false positive right before a period. I questioned this saying "Unless I'm taking something that boosts my hcg there shouldn't be. It wasn't an evaporation line, and i haven't recently given birth." And she made a face and left.

So i came home and googled like a mofo and yea, I'm right. I am a little frustrated that the nurse assumed i was a dumb ass and tried to tell me what i wanted to hear. So, here is to you Leslie, may God grant you all your wishes in regards to children and may someone kick you in the head.

Bobi

BFN

I worked second shift today. So, knowing i was planning to test, i slept till noon. Then, at 12:06, my friend Lee text me and said her test was negative. So, i rolled out of bed and decided to POAS. I did, then got myself a drink and brushed my teeth, all while not looking at the silly thing. And, yep. Negative.

I know I'm just beginning, but come on! Now i am going to break away from just the feeling i get when i ovulate, i bought tests. I also plan to take mucinex from day 5 of my cycle until 2 days after i ovulate. Maybe ill even try some preseed.

During my next ovulation i will be at a fabulous hotel and suites reliving my honeymoon. Yes, this month means 1 year of marriage. (Yes, we knew of my pcos before marriage and tried then)

The room, actually 2 rooms, is one nice bedroom with a jacuzzi big enough for 2, a shower the size of most hotel bathrooms, and a water closet. Not to mention a king size bed with a down comforter to die for. Then, off to the size you have some sliding glass doors leading to the second room, a 85 degree pool that's about 10x20. Just for us.

Sounds like the perfect time to conceive a little one. (Yep hopes are already up) Then, when i will get the results back, will be the 4 year anniversary of our first date. What a great time to tell my husband.

On the negative side, no pun intended, i will probably call the doctor on monday to get something to bring on my period. Hopefully it will work fast so i can ovulate during my anniversary.