Trying

I am trying to find time to blog.

The stats

• 5 weeks, 5 days old


• Rolled from back to belly


• Refuses to sleep on back still, and if put on side, rolls to belly, so the doctor said to stop freaking out and just let him sleep how he wants.


• Sleeps on belly. LOVES it.


• Sleeps 2-3.5 hours at night.


• LOVES BATH TIME! Seriously, we bathe together and he swims and gets mad when I hold his head so he can't dunk himself.


• He had his first social smile when I attacked him with smooches at 3.5 weeks.


• He laughed in his sleep at 4 weeks. Laughed while awake at 4 weeks, also after being attacked with kisses.


• Laughed as George and I laughed this morning-not sure if these laughs are real but he seems to do them at appropriate times.


• Smiles when he sees a boob. What straight man doesn't?


• Hates a diaper change. Especially if it is on his changing table.


• Can BURST a diaper within 2 hours. With pee. Huggies are the worst. Pampers are okay. But Seventh Generation are the best. Luvs are also okay. But not at night. They can't handle a stomach sleeper at all.


• The doctor called him a "social genius" because he is so far ahead socially. He smiled at her and said "ah-goo" "kay" "goog" and held his paci for her.


• He holds a rattle.


• loves baby keys


• is watching me type this because he feels he needs to be in my arms now.


• loves his Moby and only lets me shop if i use it or hold him.


• hates his carseat until the car moves, then he sleeps like a....baby?


• i cant eat fruit at all. tomato is a fruit so bye bye pizza.


• he has acid reflux and me eating anything acidic kills him


• no colic, just the pukes and has to work really hard to poop.


• seriousl loves kisses


• his daddy gave the okay and tomorrow, he gets to meet his paternal great grandparents, grandma and aunt.


• his mouth and poop smell like sour milk.


• frequently called the hungry hungry hippo

he is now done letting me type this. i'll try to update more often

Friday Night Leftovers More Pictures!

You get some pictures, but in exchange you MUST go check out Danifred's leftovers!

Bored

What does being bored feel like again?

I remember being bored in the last few weeks of pregnancy, but I just can't remember what it really felt like.

Today Huddy and I woke up and let George sleep so he can go to work tonight. His first night back at work. I will be alone with Huddy all night.

Our first night alone.

Wish me luck.

Hell and Back

Resting Boy



After my trip to Hell and Back I have been resting. I feel like I may never want another child. Well, a child yes. Labor? HELL NO!


Break for diaper change since I just heard the perfect child squirt me a present.


Nevermind, he has more coming.

He is a wonderful baby. He took to the breast right away. He had pretty severe Jaundice. His level was 17 but by morning it had dropped to 14 so they didn't make him get a glow blanket. At 20 he would have been admitted back to the hospital. So we got lucky that my milk had just come in. Unlucky that the doctor wanted me to feed him every hour and a half that night. Yeah, my milk is just now getting normal. The next day I had giant, swollen boobs and a kid who just wanted a break after being woken up that often!


I do have a gassy baby though. He screams/cries over his toots and poops sometimes. Nothing really seems to help. I've altered my diet and it did nothing. Products like gas drops and gripe water don't work either. Anywho, he is awake now and still needs that diaper change and then he'll eat and then we'll snuggle and then repeat.

Oh, and he has his days and nights mixed up. But he is perfect

He's HERE! Welcome George Huddy!

I am typing this one handed

New man likes to be held. a lot.

But here is a labor timeline I time to write in the hospital. I'll elaborate on it later.

11-12-11 12:25 pm water broke. We spent 6 hours trying to regulate or increase contractions. This did not work. 7:30 arrive at hospital. No progress since day before, 1 cm 60% effaced. 10p pitocin administered. Nurse said I had to hold still and stay in bed for continuous monitoring. 12 a Contractions too painful to hold still. Told that if I move, they'll stop pitocin. I moved. Taken off IV and allowed to move. Take bath and cope alone (nurse at station knitting hat, George asleep) until 4 am. No progress made so I get shot of nubaine and more pitocin. Try to sleep. 7 am Wonderful nurse arrives to see me in pain again and suggests moving! Says she just has to monitor baby as I move! Pain is easier to deal with when moving. 12 p 24 hours into labor. 7 cm pitocin set at 7. Pain increasing. Ask for 2nd shot of nubaine. It doesn't do anything. Lay in bed silently thinking about my awful, but only option. I finally ask for epidural. After 2nd attempt it takes. I nap from 1-2. First sleep since 9 am the day before. Checked around 230 pm. I'm 9.5 centimeters. Pushing skils tested and Georges heart rate drops with each push. A sign that the cord is around his neck. Told not to push, let him descend by himself. Then told I'll probably have a vacuum extraction. Around 3:40 I say I can't hold back on pushing anymore and they begin. The vacuum is used to help make my pushes more effective and get baby out in fewer pushes. If it fails, I'll need a c section. Luckily, we succeed and at 4:20 pm George Huddy arrived weighing 7lbs 12oz and 19 3/4 inches long.

Water

So, around 12:25 I was sitting here on my birthing ball reading this lovely post by Danifred. I slept in today and was complaining to George about how tired I still felt. I shut down the computer and said "I guess I'll go nap..." stood up and said "or not" as I felt a gush of warm water run down my legs.

George said "Why? What happened?" and came running in as I halfway stood and said "My water broke."

Then I pulled my pink, snow flake pajamas away from me and looked down to see them getting soaked. Then we ran down the stairs, laughing, and went to the bathroom. He said "are you sure? there isn't that much?" as I was sitting on the toilet and I said " Honey, that's now me peeing. That's my water leaking. Here, I'll try to stop it." and nothing happened, I just kept trickling.

We have 12 hours to get these contractions coming regularly (they're coming every so often but not a lot) or they will give me pitocin to speed things along and I have 24 hours to deliver or they'll give me antibiotics. So, I am sitting on my birthing ball swirling around and finishing this up.

It isn't accomplishing anything so I think George will have to take me walking. Poor boy.

Friday Night Leftovers

Today was awful!

• I woke up with more bloody show and secretly hoped that meant I was far enough progressed that I wouldn't even need my membranes stripped.


• Had the NST done and Huddy was very reactive to his Daddy. Really cute!


• Then went back to get checked and to have the membranes stripped.


• We thought.


• Last Saturday I was 1 cm dilated, 60% effaced and at the +1 station.


• Today I was 1 cm dilated, 60% effaced and at the +2 station.


• The kid moved up an inch and isnt putting pressure on my cervix at all, which explains why yesterday I had hardly any contractions.


• Apparently, I only contract when he is in position. And today, he wasn't.


• She said without his head being lower, there was no point in stripping my membranes.


• She suggested that instead of just walking and going up and down the stairs, we invest in a birthing ball. So we went out and bought one.


• I then researched ways to get Hudy into position and sat on the birthing ball for half an hour doing some swivels and figure 8s.


• Then we walked half a mile to get a pizza buffet, ate and walked back home. Then I took a nap. A nice long one. Surely undoing all my hard work, but I needed some rest. Now I am back to the birthing ball as I type this.


• George went on his vacation as of Wednesday, so we need to work this kid out asap. Any advice?

Head over to Danifred, who is having Bean's birthday party tonight! Happy belated Birthday Bean!

YUCKIES!

I have the yuckies. We'll get to that later.

This post is not for the faint of heart. I will get graphic.

Monday they decided that the day after my due date (which is tomorrow) they will strip my membranes and do a NST to make sure Huddy is getting all that he needs from his little roomie. Roomie=placenta.

That sounds fun. Stripping of the membranes. YUCKIES.

Then yesterday I realized Huddy hadn't moved since I woke up. I had had contractions all night and then finally got them to go away/slow down and fell asleep. So, 3 hours after waking up I realized I hadn't felt this kid and freaked out. We tried everything to make him move and got nothing. So we headed to the doctor and they buzzed him (put a device that vibrates slightly more than a cell phone on my belly) to wake him and then informed me that he was fine, I just didn't realize how well he could sleep after being up with contractions all night.

Then last night. I have lost parts of my plug and thought I was done. Nope. Major plug chunks. So gross. I seriously gave birth to a jello baby. Never going to see jello the same.
Just took a nap, and woke up knowing I was wet down below. GROSS! Made George bring me toilet paper so I could catch everything when I got up. Man, that was smart. I had my bloody show plus some more jello baby pieces. GROSS! Then I sat down to pee and lost more! MORE? When will it all be out? EW! So I declared that I have "the yuckies" and put on a pad and some undies. So GROSS!

I am done. Pregnancy has become too yucky for me. I am DONE! And I have the yuckies

Still Pregnant

Still here. Still Pregnant.

Had some pretty regular contractions coming every 7 minutes. Then they jumped to every 3-4 and stayed that way for 2 hours. So, we headed to the hospital. False alarm. Still early labor. 1 cm dilated, 60% effaced and -1 station.

Waddled around and ate hospital ice and no change. Hospital ice is the best.

Got a sleeping pill and headed home. But this sleeping pill and I didn't mix. I have never felt so drunk in my life! I had to be helped to bed and then when I got up to pee, I had to climb the walls/furniture to get there without falling.

Now we are off to the grocery store so that if we do go into labor, I can have food when I come home.

Friday Night Leftovers

Not really a ton to share.

• The mouse? It aint a mouse. We have ourselves a possum. Or opossum depending on who you ask.


• I am going to hopefully finish up my application for school tonight. Hoping it all works out.


• I hate driving. It hurts and I cant really hit the brake without having to squish the belly and cause myself pain. So I haven't drove more than a mile at a time for several weeks. Until today. I drove over 60 miles in 2 trips. It hurt


• Huddy is low. Low. Low. Low


• I really don't want him to come on Halloween. It is my favorite holiday but I don't want him to have to share his birthday with all the fun of Halloween. But I also want him out. Beggars can't be choosers?


• We want twins next time. We want 3 kids and I just can't stand the idea of 3 pregnancies. So next time we want it all done at once.


• I also freak out at the idea of him being across the room. George mentioned Huddy going into his own room in a month or two and I cried. We have been together for 9 months, the idea of someone else holding him freaks me out. No way I can even imagine him going upstairs.


• I really want to go back to school and use this time to better myself, but the idea of leaving Huddy scares the crap out of me.


• Is this normal? Will it go away?

Now go check out Danifred for more leftovers while I make some cookies.

He's back!

The mouse is back! Not dead. Or we have a new mouse. He is a white lab mouse. Yeah. As in, someone in our neighborhood probably had mice, they made babies, and then the person got overwhlemed and set the mice free. At least one of those mice has found us!

The problem? Back in the beginning of our relationship, George's sister and I went shopping. When we got back to George's parents house, he said "Go upstairs and meet Ozzy" and then smiled a huge smile.

For years I had wanted a pug or a rott and I wanted to name it Ozzy. So I ran upstairs and flung George's door open and what stared back at me? A white, giant ass rat with red beady eyes. I ran down the hall, pushed his sister out of my way and ran down the stairs and outside and yelled that I would NOT BE IN THE ROOM WITH THAT GROSS THING!

Two hours later, George had that "thing" in bed with me. Two months later, Ozzy lived with us. He was almost the size of a cat. He got huge. He was trained like a cat. Then after 2 years, he got sick and died. George forced me out of the house for Ozzy's final moments and took care of everything while I was gone. It was too painful.

That night, George cried that he needed something white and furry and to kidnap my mom's cat. So, Boo, our white kitty, came home with me that night.

Back to the problem, this mouse is only slightly smaller than Ozzy was when he first scared me out of the house. Ozzy has been gone over 3 years now. We still discuss him and not a day goes by that I don't miss the sound of him asking for love. Or remember how if you put food through is cage, he would eat it. So if you changed too close to his cage, he bit any part of you that came through those slats. AKA George's nipple. This rat actually kept us together because when we did break up, we had a custody battle. This rat forced us to come together, which forced us to work things out. We were 17 and 19 okay? This rat was OURS.

Now I have 2 cats, in my kitchen, trying to get this effer out from behind the oven so they can kill it. George has instructed me to starve and stay out of the kitchen until he gets home. And that if I hear any sounds of a dying mouse, so run outside and stay outside for the 2 hours before he gets home. The stress of this dilemma is causing contractions. Which I am NOT timing because this child just likes to get me excited.

I hope the mouse just stays behind the oven until George gets home so that he can move the oven and take care of this. He said he will get a box and use the cats (because they are SO well trained at this and all) and get this thing in the box. Then drive several miles away and deposit our friend into a cold corn field.

Not sure how this is going to work, but I did find some poison that isn't harmful to cats and electric (instant death) mouse traps sound okay. I also may have tossed some of Boo's pain medicine (it's generic vicodin I think) behind the oven. I heard the mouse scurry to it and I heard nibbling. If Boo and his fat behind (he is fat) can take 1 pill and be drugged up for over 6 hours, I am thinking it'll eff a mouse up or kill it. And if my cats eat it, they'll just feel good and take a nap. I also put a line of cat nip in front of the oven so my kitties are now high and mean! Catnip makes them psycho mean kitties.

But now we have a problem. Another one. To go pee, I have to walk through the kitchen. And while I know the mouse is still hiding, I will also be tempted to peak at him. Ugh! I need a drink! A shot of tequila sounds mighty nice. Huddy, get out, Mommy is mouse hunting and she just can't handle doing that sober. K Thanks.

Diaper Bags

I need some diaper bag advice.

As of right now, we hate diaper bags. For the hospital bag we are using a small carry on luggage bag. George said he wants to buy one this weekend. But we hate everything.

We don't want a bag to scream "I am a diaper bag" or "I belong to a boy". We want something that is sturdy and will last awhile. I am rough on purses, so I expect we will be even more rough with a diaper bag. It must be easy to clean too. It also must come with a changing pad. I have priced little changin stations and I don't want to have to buy one of those along with a diaper bag. One purchase. Short and sweet. It also should come with an insulated pocket or two, but I figure, when it comes time for me to send bottles along with Huddy, I will probably just use an insulated lunch box type thing.

Any advice here? What type of bag do/did you use?

Induction

I hate the idea of pitocin. I feel like it is used as much as Tylenol these days! But I am convinced Huddy will be late. That I will have to be induced. So, I mentioned it at the midwive's today. Because of Thanksgiving, they'll induce me anytime after November 17. So I am thinking I would prefer the 18th but I will take the 21st if possible. I just want to make sure that, no matter what, we are home before Thanksgiving.

Sadly, I won't get to do any Black Friday shopping, which is my favorite shopping day! Last year I spent $300. I redecorated our bedroom for $100 and bought around $500 worth of stuff! I was impressed.

Mind you last year I worked my butt off and we had money to spend. This year though, we do need new sheets. So someone is going sheet hunting for me! I doubt they'll have a high chair (which we still need) on sale the day after Thanksgiving so it's not like we really need anything anyway. I just like the thrill of it.

And now I am off to find some food for my Baby Fishy Monster.

The same one who I am convinced is never coming out.

37 Weeks 5 days

Since about June I have dreamt of October 23rd. Why? No clue. But I see it on a calender and I think "That's the day" and in my dream, Huddy arrives on that day.

Huddy did not arrive on that day.

Why not?

He seems to like my cozy little home.

I tried bribing him, mandarin oranges probably taste much better via breast milk than amniotic fluid.

I walked.

I had sex.

I tried.

He still won't come out.

I have spent te last 3 hours timing contractions.

10 minutes

8 minutes

5 minutes. For a long time.

Then 7 minutes.

WHAT THE HECK! GET OUT!

Chances are he will come late. Like most babies. Which means another 3 or more weeks in a constant state of "Is it time?"

All of my pregnant friends who have delivered so far (I had 13 babies at the start of my pregnancy, so far 11 have been born) have been induced. Well, one showed up 3 hours early and was in labor. Only 3 babies have been c section.

These statistics lead me to believe that no one delivers on their own terms anymore! I dread the idea of pitocin and the idea of a c section will send me running to the bathroom to lose my ramen noodles. (so yummy and you can cook them between contractions) My midwives believe in only inducing when the baby or mother is at risk. So, my induction wouldn't take place until 2 weeks after my due date. Which is Thanksgiving Eve. But they don't like any extras in the hospital for the holidays, so I am thinking they'd induce on the 21st or 22nd. THAT IS A MONTH AWAY!

I can't handle another month. Can't.

Huddy, please hurry. The people at the gas station Mommy walks to everyday want to meet you, the people at the neighborhood bank want to meet you, and most important, Mommy, Daddy and Grandma want to meet you.

Oh, and our animals!

They almost deserve their own post!

Almost.

Moose! She won't let me leave her side! If I take a bath, she checks on me every 2-4 minutes and she stays right outside the door the entire time. She wouldn't even let me go visit Graham Cracker without her! She also puts her head on the belly and says "mrrrrrrrrr" the same sound she makes when we rub her belly really well.

Achilles! He has been the least receptive to the baby thing. He ignores the crib, thinks the bouncer is for hiding his toys and that the bumbo must be some kind of doggy food dish with holes in it. But recently, he shoves his flattened nose into my belly and sniffs. He either thinks you smell or can sense something.

Boo! Damn cat! He likes to climb on the belly while I sleep and wake the baby. Which means my bladder becomes a squeeze toy and my belly starts a rocking! BAD CAT!

Iee! She loves me so much more pregnant. She comes and checks on me and if she does get on the belly, and she gets kicked, she runs like someone hit her!

These animals need a baby. Or to leave the belly alone! Poor Huddy.

I have been nesting. In doing this, I delegate all the tasks I can't do to George. Who starts them and never finishes them. He is killing me. My house is a mess with half finished projects. And the car still hasn't been cleaned out enough for us to take the carseat to the fire department and have them install the crazy thing.

And now I am off to pee.

Last few days

In the last few days I have been resting.

On Friday, I had a half hour nap after we got home from the hospital and I took a shower. Then I went shopping with my mom and Graham Cracker. Yes, I call my grandma Graham Cracker. I was about 5 when it started. Give me a break.

We bought the stroller and carseat, then went out to lunch, then went out and bought the last of the major baby items.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted.

Then Saturday my momm came over to help me nest since George was in need of some sleep from all the overtime he worked. We put together the changing table and cleaned and did laundry. She washed dishes while I dried and put them away. By the time she left, I was exhausted and in pain. My body's reaction to pain? To have contractions. So even though she left at 5 pm, I couldn't get to sleep until 6 am. Then Sunday I rested.

Monday we went to the doctor, everything is measuring correctly, but Huddy is no longer hanging out super low. He is now slightly higher than he was before. Bad baby! Mama wants you OUT!

Then we watched tv, I took a nap, and George went to bed.

Today, we raked some leaves and I am resting.

I am only pain free in the tub, so I have spent 3 hours a day in the tub. It is so nice.

I have dreamt about going into labor and delivering on the 23rd. As in next Sunday when I will be 37 weeks and 4 days.

When they confirmed that Huddy had dropped last week, I was certain I was correct. Now I am starting to wonder. If he isn't out then, I will give him until Halloween before I serve him an eviction notice and glue it to my belly.

I am ready. I want our baby. I am 37 weeks tomorrow. The idea of going until my due date, November 10, is killing me. The idea of waiting until the day they will induce me (around November 21st or 22nd) is nauseating. I am ready to meet this little guy and forget about how much I hate the third trimester.

I am thinking about bribing him with promises of tasting what mandarin oranges taste like through breast milk. Mandarin Oranges=Baby Crack.

The DRAMA

So, Wednesday after a nap, I got up and something ran down my leg. It was thin and liquidy.

I thought perhaps it was my water breaking.

I wasn't sure but I knew that if it was my water, contractions would come.

So, I went shopping with my mother. And as we walked I had back pain. Like no other. But low back pain. Then I started having contractions but they were irregular. So we decided to just keep an eye on them and timed them.

Then my mom brought me home and I had to get George up for work. I tried laying down and the back pain kept coming and getting worse and the contractions were still irregular but still kept coming. I stayed pretty moist but it wasn't enough to leak down my leg.

George was afraid to go to work until I had at least spoke to my doctor. So I called and the midwife said that with the low back pain, she wanted me to go to the hospital and get checked out.

So my mom, George and I went to the hospital I plan to deliver at.

They confirmed that what I was leaking was not amniotic fluid, and suggested that it would have been my mucous plug, that often times it is thinner for some women. I brought up the low back pain, and said "It kind of feels like kidney stone pain but it's so low, where would my kidney be this far in pregnancy?" They assured me that it would be higher than where my pain was and that this was normal pregnancy pain. They ran my urine and before we left they said "The urine looks good, no issues." I asked "So, no blood in the urine?" and they said "No."

We went home. I suffered all night and tried to sleep. Finally, right after George went to bed early Thursday morning I got up because I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I tried reading blogs, watching Weeds, talking to friends, anything to distract myself. A friend of mine confirmed that she had similar pain, and it was just normal pregnancy pain and I was just being a wuss.

So, I climbed into the tub and I cried. This pain was not going away, nothing, not even the bath, was helping and everyone said I would feel this "normal pregnancy pain" until my pregnancy was over. So I cried. It hurt too much.

I really did think it was kidney stones but apparently, according to the nurse, it was too low, and with no blood in my urine, there was no reason to suspect that.

I broke down and called my Aunt. She told me that even if it wasn't kidney stone pain, it sounded like it was just as bad and I needed to get it checked out again because she was pretty damn sure (she has had over 20 stones and has actually lost part of her kidney due to kidney stones) that it was kidney stones.

But George was sleeping. And I had already deprived him of a night of work and plenty of sleep to take me to the hospital for nothing. So, I drove myself to my mom's and she met me (after stopping to get mcdonalds of course) there and drove me the rest of the way to the nearest hospital (the one we had also considered delivering at).

When we arrived they said "Sounds like you're in labor. Hang on." and then they brought the dreaded wheel chair and wheeled me to labor and delivery while I complained that I didn't need that, they said it wasn't labor the night before, I really think it has to be kidney stones JUST TAKE ME TO THE ER! They ignored me and wouldn't let me out of that damn chair because apparently they have had women give birth right in the entrance even after they insisted it couldn't be labor. Damn women.

So, when we got to labor and delivery I got in my gown, stored my stuff, and went to shared room to listen to my roomies baby's heartbeat. Which was great! We never spoke and kept the curtain pulled. I doubt either of us wanted to make friends at that point. Plus her husband looked like a jerkface.

They hooked me up to monitors for Huddy and contractions. Then left us. Finally a midwife came in and I assured her it was kidney stones. By this point the pain was worse and I KNEW it was kidney stones. She said that I was having some contractions but I assured, her I COULDN'T FEEL THEM over the kidney stone pain, and she said they were irregular and took a urine sample and called for the urine test results from the night before at the other hospital.

She came back in and said there was blood in my urine the night before and more today. She even showed me the results from the night before that stated I had a "moderate" amount of blood the night before. Yeah, and they told me my urine was fine and this was "NORMAL PREGNANCY PAIN"!

Then she said they would start an IV (which scare me and irritate my "I hate needles" thing) of fluids and nubaine before they sent me for an ultrasound so that I could get a break from the pain. Then I lost it. Nubaine? Narcotic? They gave me vicodin before. It worked. Why not that? They never explained they just let me freak out. Vicodin isn't as powerful and is worse for Huddy, the only reason they gave me that before was so they could send me home. (I asked about this today)

So, my nurse, who I HAD liked came in to start my IV. She explained the entire process while I shut my eyes and my mom looked away (she hates the site of skin being punctured and blood). She went in and I sucked in my breath. Then she pushed in more. And more. And more. Then Sighed. Then pushed in once more and all of a sudden a shooting pain that made me kick my legs up and scream "Oh! HELL! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" then she began to say "I am so sorry. I don't know what happened" over and over and I kept my eyes squeezed shut as my mother made her "Oh GOD THIS IS BAD" sound that she makes in gory movies and CSI shows when they show a gruesome scene. I knew better than to look.

I cried. Like a baby. A big, pregnant, baby! Then I looked. I had 2 holes. But she only went in once? Blood at one hole and a lot more blood at the other. I shouted I was going to puke and my mom had to leave the room.

Finally the pain subsided and the nurse went to go get some help. I examined my arm. She had gone in, got in my vein, tried to push the needle the rest of the way in and came out my vein and out my arm. Like sewing, only she went into my vein and out my vein. Coming out is a lot worse than going in. I seriously thought she was cutting my arm off.

Then nurse 2 came in. Nurse 1 tried to say "Maybe the needle was bent" and held it up. Nope. Straight. Straight as A NEEDLE! Then she went back to "I don't know what happened". I do. YOU TRIED TO SEW IN MY VEIN!

Nurse 2 hit a nerve. Also painful. Then finally got it in correctly. So 4 holes, 2 failed attempts, and lots of pain. Oh, and I was still feeling my kidney stones. And towards the end my Grandma showed up and cheered me on. In her 80's, in a wheelchair and a total cheerleader.

Finally, the IV was started and they brought in Nubaine. They said that since it was going in my IV, it'd be fast. I don't think they had even walked away from my IV when I suddenly (while answering medical questions) said "Oh. My head's heavy" and they assured me that it was normal and to just lay it back.

Then they took me for my ultrasound. Without the pain, I realized many things. I drove George's car. In 4 hours, he would be leaving for work. They weren't sending me home anytime soon. I had George's debit card along with mine and he needed lunch and gas. I dictated my orders. My mom would take care of it all if I wasn't out by then.

Then we got put in a room. A fancy (but smaller than average) maternity room that, during our tour, they informed me was for admitted patients who would not be delivering soon. So I looked at the nurse and said "I will be here awhile huh?" and she said "They're admitting you, they'll be in soon."

The midwife came in and said I had a VERY large kidney stone that had no way of getting out unless it broke down. A lot. She said that at that size, chances were slim that it would break down. The urologist would be by sometime, but until then, no eating or drinking because they may need to put a stint in or do surgery.

I took this time to consult Dr. Google. If they did surgery, they would either remove Huddy first, via C-Section. Or do the surgery and hope Huddy remained calm, but often times after a mother undergoes surgery in her late 3rd trimester, the baby will come as a reaction to the pain (I was already having a contraction everytime my kidney spasmed(meaning the stone attempted to get out the hole)) but the mother, fresh from surgery, can't go through labor and they end up doing a c-section anyway. CRAP! Not really a good option there.

Then they came in for my 2nd dose of nubaine. No one warned me that the second sucks. Barely any relief! But some. Just enough to "take the edge off".

Then I realized I was dying of thirst. DYING! And she said I couldn't drink. Major dry mouth. I was able to get swabs of lemon fresh dish soap smelling stuff and swab some liquid around my mouth. BLECH!

Finally the midwife came back and said the urologist had left, so I could drink again, that he doesn't like to jump into surgery too soon for pregnant women and had requested we try getting the stone to pass through the night.

I had mixed feelings. I wanted this stone GONE, but Huddy is only 36 weeks and should cook a bit longer, so I thought waiting was fine. They promised good pain meds. And Huddy was doing great. No harm in waiting.

My mother and Grandma left and promised to have George call me when he woke up (his phone was on silent so they were using my mom's emergency key to get in and wake him early. I figured it wasn't like I needed him at that moment, I was just going to be writhing in agony awhile and he would have enough time to leave work and get to the hospital if they decided surgery was unavoidable.

Then I got demerol. That nubaine just wouldn't work anymore. So, in goes the injection. OUCH! Then she rubbedit around to get it to go through the muscle. OUCH! I counted down the minutes. She said 15-30 minutes and it would kick in. At 45 minutes I called for her, no relief. But I can't have more. I just get to SUFFER! This was the worst part. The demerol made me sleepy, but I HURT! I also hadn't ate in 24 hours (unless you count 5 french fries and a string cheese), had fluids being pumped into me, and dry mouth. So I chugged water and peed every 20 minutes. Plus I had a Huddy monitor that was super loud and made that super loud "whoosh" sound everytime he moved. And demerol must have been like caffeine to this kid, he didn't stop moving!

But they told me to sleep. So I tried. Off and on. 2 minutes-5 minutes at the most. I was having kidney spasms to frequently that my contractions were getting pretty good looking on that monitor. Really good looking and after each one, as if to say "Hey, stop squeezing me lady!", Huddy would stretch out with all his mite and throw what I am sure if a temper tantrum. He hates contractions. Especially as they got more powerful. Don't squeeze my baby!

Then George called and said that yes, he would go to work but to call him if I needed him. He seemed really confused on wha had happened and why they didn't just send me home like when I had kidney stones at 13 weeks.

Then my Aunt and Uncle arrived. My Aunt was awesome. Queen Boss! She informed my nurse, who until now had figured my contractions were just my uterus spasming, that my entire stomach was rock hard when I contracted, they were regular, and Huddy was reacting to them. She rocked. Sadly, there wasn't anything to be done, and I couldn't even feel the contractions over the kidney pain, but she was awesome. She did some labor breathing with me for the spasms and helped remind me to breath through them. And she didn't laugh (like everyone else) when I just wiggled a little jig in reaction to the pain.

Then I got sleepy and they left. I was told at 9:15 I could have something else for the pain. Noe clue what. But I remember it hitting 9 and then I was out. I woke up around 10:30 and evaluated myself.

• Hardly any kidney pain. Just an ache.


• Stomach muscles are exhausted!


• Gotta pee!


• Not tired.


• Very hungry.

I had passed my stone! It had broken up during those spasms and was out. SEND ME HOME.

Nope. Didn't happen. It could have just moved or something and I needed to stay to be monitored and ther weren't any doctors there to discharge me anyway.

So I waited. George realized what was going on finally, after he had woken up for a few hours, and left work to be with me. We waited. I wanted food.

Urologist snuck in when George left the room, before the crack of dawn, all dressed in a light grey suit and stood at the end of my bed to wake me. HELLO! CREEPY! I thought I died and he was taking me away! And Married With Children was playing in the background. Great, I died and they'll find my body while Married with Children is on! GREAT!

Then he introduced himself and I realized I wasn't dying. He agreed, I had passed the stone, I could go home. And eat.

Once my own midwife discharged me.

Crap.

At least I could eat.

I had corn flakes, not the frosted kind, and toast. IT WAS HEAVEN. Then my real breakfast came and I had frosted corn flakes, half a muffin, some eggs that were obviously egg powder, milk, and George ate the yucky hash browns. Oh, and I had orange juice. HEAVEN!

By then it had been 36 hours. I would have ate anything.

Finally George fell asleep and I started to. Then my midwife came. I was free to go! Since the pain had stopped (almost 12 hours before this now) I had only had 3 mild contractions and was good to go!

We booked it out of there so fast!

I will update on my weekend soon. This was the longest post of my life! But I want to remember every second of it so that I can use it against Huddy someday when he says I don't love him, or I am ruining his life. Or when he breaks a leg and thinks he is dying. Or when I decide I want baby number 2 and get all jealous of pregnant women again.

It was...

KIDNEY STONES.

A big one.

I just got home from the hospital. It was awful. They admitted me and such and it was awful. I will update more later. For now, I need a shower and some rest.

Not labor

It is not labor.

Water did not break. No clue what it was.

In a lot of pain, back pain is just getting worse and worse and nothing is helping. Reminding me of kidney stones but it's in my low back/right side and I didn't have blood in my urine and this time, I can sit still. But the pain is equal to kidney stones. That's all I can handle writing out without screaming.

Sorry everyone.

Not as planned

I was supposed to be posting Wordless Wednesday today to show off all I have been doing since my last post. But I can't. You need an update.

Went to the doctor on Monday. The midwife checked Huddy's position and said his head is about as low as she would expect at 39 weeks.

Meaning I jumped into gear and had George help me assemble everything!

Which is what the pictures were of.

But I just had a dream where I went into labor and had Huddy and then dreamt about him and the hospital for the first 24 hours after birth.

Then I got up.

And something ran down my leg. It was clear, but had no scent. And I have heard amniotic fluid has a distinctive smell. So did I pee myself?

It was clear...it was just a small amount.

I am 36 weeks today. I am going to wait this out. See if I keep leaking and if I feel anything. So far, just a bit of back pain on my left side. Not where I usually ache. Huddy's active and moving. I am eating ice.

I really hope it was just pee. He's a little too early for my liking. Another week in the oven would serve him nicely. And this back ache is constant.

I am still leaking a bit. No smell.

I am going to eat. Because I haven't ate in a long while and if I am in labor, the moment I announce my water has broken, they'll tell me no food. Or nothing good enough to fill me. This is weird.

Promise to update later today or early tomorrow if this is not labor.

Pretty!

Isn't the new template so pretty?

It is somehow still masculine enough to be a blog about a little boy too! I like it.

Tonight, or last night since it is past midnight, my mom and I met up and made cookies! All day I wanted a flipping cookie. George has been going to her house to shower before work, so at 7 when his alarm didn't go off (he is working 11 hour shifts and skipping his days off for a week since his employer, who HATES overtime, is actually allowing it) I nudged him and asked what the plan was. "Screw showering, the hot water tank will be fixed in the morning." So no shower before work. So no going to my mom's to make cookies. SO NO COOKIES!

I text my mom and she said I could just come over after I got George off to work and we'd stay up and eat cookies.

So, Moose and I went to my mom's. We made the dough and had one batch in the oven when her evil cat jumped onto the counter, and in the time it took me to take 3 steps had shoved her entire head in the bowl and ate enough cookie dough to have filled MY MOUTH!

Neither my mom nor I have ever tolerated the cat on the counter thing. It is disgusting, yet this cat is AWFUL! She gets into EVERYTHING! I honestly contemplated some animal abuse. Not even going to lie about it. And I did say "I hope that makes you sick". Then Moose gave the cat a dirty look. Not even my DOG would dare to eat something unless she was invited to!

So, we only had a dozen cookies. And for a pregnant woman who has craved cookies all day, and her momma who has heard about cookies all day, it just wasn't enough. So we aren't sharing with George. And my mom only took 4 and offered me 8. As she now says "gotta feed the baby".

OH! Because of George's teeth, when he didn't feel up to it, my mom went with my to baby class. And in the first class they said how pregnant women should only eat an extra 300 calories a day. Now my mom has always said not to eat like I am eating for 2. But when she heard only 300 calories she scoffed, snorted and looked at me and smiled.

Being overweight already, I had wanted to gain only 15 lbs. I have gained 28. Big thanks to the 8 lbs I gained during the month my body went all hypoglycemic and stopped taking carbs well. I didn't eat any different that month than any other month, so my midwife blames the carbs. So I am going with her. NOT MY FAULT!

But the midwives said 20-35 would be good, and that even for my weight, they still prefer for women to gain 25. Then I lost a pound or two and now I think I am probably back up to that 28.

Any freaking way! I got off topic! Momma and I did the math, I NEVER ate before pregnancy. I was a 1 meal a day girl. Maybe a snack if I was lucky. Now, I snack 3 times a day and eat about 3 small meals a day. I eat about 800 more calories than before pregnancy. And I am still within range. So, Momma has declared me fine. George is concerned that it will be hard for me to stop eating like this and even with the 500-700 calories burnt by breastfeeding, I won't lose weight. But lately, I have become sick of eating. I wait until i actually have a grumbling empty belly before I eat or when my blood sugar goes below 80, aka every 2 hours even after a full meal. In the mornings, I am somewhere around 60.

Oh, and blood pressure, the moment that cuff came into this house my blood pressure went and fixed itself. My Graham Cracker (my grandma) let me borrow her glucose meter and blood pressure cuff. My blood sugar is predictable, and I could probably guess within 2 of what it will be at any given time, and my blood pressure went away. The only time I have felt light headed was at the hospital, when, of course, I didn't have the cuff. Monday or Tuesday I will return these items to my Graham Cracker and I will go all wacky again.

Speaking of Graham Cracker, she has mentioned several times how I should write all of these little notes about pregnancy so I don't forget. I have kind of explained that I do it online, but the woman is in her 80's and has been on Facebook for a little over a year, but I fear that blogger may open a whole new world of the internet for her and confuse her. Okay, that isn't really it, she'd probably love reading this and would figure it out pretty quick, I fear...sharing?

This is my private space. This last spring when some people found it, I was extremely upset and felt violated. But this is my Graham Cracker. I don't have anything negative to say about her besides MY FAMILY IS CRAAAAZYPANTS! But that is about it. And I think I would like to show her this stuff. Do I do it? Can I do it?

I'll let you know. Maybe I can even get her blogging. How cool would that be?

Friday Night Leftovers

I hate fall.

• Since I was about 7, every fall I am a sniffling mess. I cough, sneeze, wheeze, and feel like crap.


• This has not changed.


• Pregnancy, yes, fabulous pregnancy may have cured my thyroid disease, but it has not cured this


• Oh no, in fact, it has made it worse.


• Today I feel like I am living in a fog. My eyes are so watery I couldn't even put my contacts in. I have a headache, sore throat, cough, sniffley nose, and just feel crappy.


• I thought I'd enjoy fall this year since it would be cooler and more pleasant for pregnancy.


• I was WRONG!


• It's 83 outside. Too hot for this already hot woman.

Go visit Danifred who LOVES Fall. cue barf sounds.

Semi-Wordless Wednesday

Forewarning, I show some skin. Some stretch marked belly skin. Just belly. Promise. I am trying to accept them as part of my body so that I don't lose all self esteem.

Here we are at the doctor at 33 weeks. The nude belly at 33 weeks.

Stretch marked belly at 34 weeks.

I hope my boobs aren't really that lopsided and that it's just the picture. 34 weeks

Here we are at 35 weeks, just a few hours ago. 35, look at the evil pup in the background!

Covered at 35 weeks. All taken at my moms.

I hope you enjoyed the pictures!

George had a double root canal today and had me running around since 10 am. I am exhausted!

Ultrasound

We went for our ultrasound appointment today. They called us back for registration and I was flustered and said that I felt light headed.

So they forced me into a wheelchair and wheeled me down to the radiology department. While everyone stared. I felt so dumb! I was just a little light headed, not "I am going to pass out" but "my mind won't function because I am light headed".

George followed my chair and giggled.

Huddy's head is down, way down, and they couldn't get any good shots because he had such little fluid around him down there and he had his hands up to his face.

No word on his measurements or weight, but he is healthy and still a boy.

Yes, we asked them to make SURE.

George said he always figured we'd have a girl first, and that he just couldn't believe it was a boy. I just wanted to make sure I wouldn't be returning anything and everything.

Our hot water tank finally rusted out the bottom (it is old and apparently our water hates us) and my ex step dad had to come over and help us out. I swallowed a lot of pride.

We talked a bit, and the dogs had a field day seeing their Grampy (still a dirty word in our house since the dogs assume he is coming anytime we say "Grampy"). It was nice.

He said that he has struggled for years to support his parents and his kids, and that sadly, my sister's pregnancy is just one thing he can't afford. So, he is also swallowing some pride and getting some government assistance to help them out. I don't blame him. Babies are expensive.

I feel like such an awful thing could not have happened to a more devoted father. I think he blames himself since he told her she couldn't see the boy anymore. He thinks that is just the motivation she needed to try and get pregnant.

I still can't get over being 14 and trying to get pregnant. I was a naughty teenager, but that is just AWFUL! And she is still excited. She hasn't cried or anything and is still super excited. He thinks she won't realize the extent of the damage she has created until 2 am when no one else gets up to help her with a screaming baby.

I really hope she comes to her senses earlier than that, for the baby's sake.

Too Much

Just for Danifred, who I would have linked, but my computer is being difficult.

Yes, she is. The sister. The step sister, the youngest step sister, who isn't even in high school yet, is pregnant.

All of her cousins, and myself are pregnant. Mine was the only planned pregnancy, and she got pregnant. And we believe she tried to get pregnant. Why? Because her boyfriend, soon to be baby daddy, was banished. She was told she couldn't see him anymore and has been busted sneaking around with him.

Why do we think she tried? She was so excited to be pregnant. And when the boyfriend was allowed to come over to talk about options, he was so excited and was rubbing her 5-6 week pregnant belly and just beaming. They were more excited to be pregnant than I was!

It makes me physically sick to think of how how awful this baby's life will be.

My step dad is against abortion, but he offered to pay for one. They refused.

The baby daddy's mom offered to adopt the child but still let the parents be involved, they refused. They want to raise their baby. How? Neither has a job, he is 16, she will be 15 by the time the kid comes, and my step dad can't afford a child. He supports his 3 kids and his parents. His parents who have awful health issues. This house isn't even safe for a baby due to the health issues.

These kids? They just expect my step dad to pay for everything and to get to live together. At 14 and 16. HA! They think they'll be together forever now.

Even George said that if he had been 16 and knocked up a 14 year old, he wouldn't have stuck around. He would have escaped the first chance he had. Hell, my body will never be the same, if I would have ruined it at 14, I wouldn't have expected some guy to want me.

This kid has no idea what she has gotten herself into. Her life will never be the same. And baby's aren't like dolls, you can't put them down and go play with another toy. And it isn't like babysitting. No one is going to come home and pay you and then let you leave.

Poor kids.

And I asked a friend, and apparently she knows of 3 different girls who have admitted to TRYING to get pregnant before 18.

Dear Lord,
Please provide some hope for these kids. Please keep my sister and this baby safe, and help her to realize that she will either have to grow up, or make a mature decision to find a better life for her baby.

Amen.

Prayers or hopeful thoughts from anyone and everyone would be appreciated.

I am a Slacker

George woke me up super early, and had projects in mind. I made breakfast, almost passed out, and bailed and went back to bed.

I figured he would bail too.

He didn't. He cleaned out the entire orange room and pink room, our storage rooms. I had attempted to do this about 100 times this summer, but just never had enough energy. He put everything in the attic and cleaned out the trash. All I have to do tonight is clean off the desk and vacuum up there! I am so impressed with him!

But now I feel like a slacker, I did a sink full of dishes today...that is it.

Slacker wife!

Why do I feel so guilty?

Now I am headed to my Grandmother's to borrow her blood pressure cuff and glucose meter so I am try and figure out just what one (low BP or low BS) is making me feel like death.

Friday Night Leftovers

• I don't feel like I have much to say.



• Our dentist gave George more pain medicine. Very pleased.



• He is still calling off work tonight.



• I ordered the crib last night.



• October...Tomorrow...November next month. Baby next month



• My ex step sister got a puppy. It is cute. Hoping Moose can meet him.



• My other step sister is taking a pregnancy test today. She is way too young. Way too young. Like won't even be able to drive before the kid gets here...if she is pregnant. But she also lives with her Dad, who lives with his parents (they have severe health issues) who are chain smokers and there isn't room for a baby. Or finances for a baby. There is no way she could keep it. I really hope she isn't pregnant and that this inspires my ex step dad to get her some birth control. Or beat her. I think this kid just needs a good old fashioned beating. Not really supportive of beating your kids, but COME ON! From what it sounds like, she may have even been TRYING to get pregnant so she can go live with her bf. Her 17 year old boyfriend. No way will that be happening.



• I am happy I am not as close to that situation anymore.



• Don't even want to think about it.



• Thanks now I am thinking about it. Poor baby. If there is a baby. Poor sister doesn't even realize how much she has screwed up her life if she is pregnant.



• George is calling off work right now.



• I wish he would just lay in bed with me.



• It is rainy and yucky and I just want to be in bed.

Go visit Danifred, who is also just not feeling it today.

Update

I have very low blood pressure 98/45. They say drink more water. My mom said "She drinks water all day. She CHUGS!"

My momma is correct. If I drink any more water, I will never leave the toilet. Apparently the protein in my urine is slight enough that they aren't concerned at all. So, get up more slowly, don't bend down, and get an ultrasound on Monday instead of your regular appointment.

YAY!

Also, the doctor is kind of a jerkface. He tried to send us to the special ultrasound place, but I informed him that I have a $300 bill from them because our insurance won't pay for them, he argued that our insurance is great and usually, with other patients, pays for it all. Well, tell that to my check book buddy! So, he said "whatever, I don't want to play games, just go to X hospital". How is this playing games? I don't want to go broke, and my insurance company is obviously NOT paying. Jerkface.

Let's all hope I don't need a c section so we don't have to deal with him anymore. I like the midwives much better.

Calling all Medical Professionals!

Just got the call, my tests came back.

I have protein in my urine. But my tests for preeclampsia are fine. What does this mean? Dr. Google has informed me that it could be a UTI or a kidney infection. Any other concerns I should have?

Also, they are having me come in today at 230 for a visit with the Doctor.

To most, this may not seem weird, but we actually only met the doctor once, he is there for high risk and emergency situations, otherwise you just see the midwives.

Should I be concerned? The nurse who called seemed very at ease, but this is her job and not her baby. They should just explain stuff over the phone and skip the suspense.

I fell

I fell. An hour ago. I was unlocking the doggie gate, and just got dizzy and went head first while in a nose dive position. It would've been great if I had dove into a swimming pool. As it was, I dove into my dog. Achilles stopped me before I cracked my head open or smooshed the belly. But I did have a gate between us, and I smashed it into my ribs. Which I am pretty sure I bruised.

But Huddy is wiggling and Achilles is enjoying being the center of attention for his life saving efforts. AKA being there. Good Boy!

So Many Problems!

So, George's wisdom teeth are impacted and were infected and are pinching nerves. So, he was rushed for an appointment to have them removed, for Wednesday morning! So, we called his dental insurance to see just how much we would need to pay.

This is where is gets good.

All of it. He hasn't had dental through them for over a year (we had another company before) and they won't cover anything major (like oral surgery) until you have been with their company for a year.

How much does this surgery cost? About as much as George's car.

No way in HELL we can pull that out of our asses. We are living paycheck to paycheck as it is. Before I was approved for unemployment, we weren't able to buy anything. So now we are scrambling to get the last of the baby items. That is where all of our extra money goes, and even that is very limited and a lot less than what we had planned on!

I took a pretty major pay cut to leave the company from HELL in order to be in a relaxed environment teaching in the daycare. Then I got pregnant. We were pretty decent financially, until they made me a sub and just never called. Luckily, the unemployment went through after 60 days of not hearing from them. By then I was 6 months pregnant and couldn't commit to a job (even if they were willing to hire a woman who could only work for a few months) for more than a few months. We have no savings. We had to pay taxes and have repaired both our cars, computers, hot water tank, etc. since June.

We have nothing.

But my husband? He has to take 2 percocet a day to be pain free. He hates that, so somedays he only takes 1 and then is in too much pain to do anything. And I know he is in pain while he is sleeping becase he grinds his teeth and flinches if I touch the side of his face.

I left a message for the Health Department. I have heard they will do dental work and go by your income. Problem is, I don't know if they'll do major things like oral surgery. But I have no other options. George has no credit and with me being unemployed, and everything being in my name, mine probably isn't doing too well either. So getting financed for the surgery is not an option.

Say some prayers, send some good thoughts, anything. We have nothing else.

Friday Night Leftovers

But, they aren't really leftovers.

Monday I was paying some bills and then got up and went to the bathroom. Then someone shot off fireworks in my bathroom. I suddenly saw sparkling, twinkling lights andfelt like I might pass out. I text George and told him that I knew this was a symptom of something but I wasn't sure what.

So, I asked Dr. Google. High Blood Pressure.

Cue panic.

I called my doctor Tuesday morning, and was informed that my urine test on Monday showed no signs of protein in my urine, but that it could be a sign that my blood sugar got too low. And that I have always been slightly low on my BP so it could have been that too.

Wednesday I was in pain all day, and hated the world.

Yesterday, I was in pain all day and hated the world. So, George found me crying in bed because I feel so lazy because it hurts to do anything. He comforted me, and it lead to doing THAT THING.

After I experience that one thing that happens when you do THAT THING, I saw my twinkling lights and then that is all I remember until I woke up to my husband yelling at me.

Yep. It was so good I passed out. Or I just passed out. Depending on who you are.

Then I tried to get up, twinkling lights again. So, I just laid there for a minute while my husband panicked. When I finally got up, I called the doctor.

They sent me to the outpatient testing part of our local hospital and had me get some blood work done, and gave me a jug. To keep 24 hours worth of urine in. Yep, I have a jug of pee in my fridge. Of pee.

So, anytime I have to pee, I have to go to the fridge, grab my orange jug, go to the bathroom, put a hat on the toilet, pee, then wipe and stand before tossing toilet paper into the toilet so I don't get it in the hat, then pour my pee into my jug, and place jug back into the fridge right next to a 2 liter of root beer.

Oh what a fancy life I live.

Today, I have ate everytime I feel even the slightest bit hungry, because yesterday it was explained to me that my pregnant body can use up an entire meal in no time flat. So, I have ate

• 2 pears


• 1 bowl of cottage cheese


• 2 string cheeses


• 1 package of ramen noodles


• 6 cups of water


• 2 cups of milk


• 4 pieces of french toast

And I have only been up for 6 hours.

Seriously? Is this what I have to look forward to?

And passing out, does it do anything to Huddy? What goes on down there?

Anywho, go visit Danifred who I doubt has ate as much as me, and who probably doesn't have pee in her fridge.

Pictures!

My stork got lost, so they sent the kid here with a balloon!

Huddy's taken over!

Shower Decorations

Baby Iee wants to know why her house is buried in baby stuff. Is it for her?

Besides my friend over there smoking, this is my favorite picture from the shower. Shows how long my hair was, and how big my belly is.

32

32

32

32 Short hair!

29





















My picture posts always get messed up and end up spaced apart really weird. Sorry.

Who?

I have been over at Danifred's reading her archives all day. Very nice to see pictures of her babies when they were still babies. It got me wondering, Who will Huddy look like?

My father's genes must be pretty dominant because my brother, sister and I all looked like him as children. Now my sister and I look like our mother's. (Mind you, my hair is still flaked with his blonde highlights and my eyes are aquamarine (green and blue) not the yucky brown of my mother*) My mother, looks like her father. She has since birth.

George looks like his dad, but has glasses. His parents are in there 40's (my mom is almost out of her 40's but his parents had him at a young age, so I think they're around mid 40) and still do not need glasses. My husband? Apparently he had a lazy eye that was never caught, so in order to correct itself, the eye damaged the muscles. So no more lazy eye, but in 1st grade his teacher thought he had special needs because he suddenly went from being able to read at age 4, to not knowing how to read two years later. So, by 6 my husband had giant pop cap glasses. Poor kid.

Husband also had no teeth. Around 2 they took him to the dentist for the first time, and were told his teeth weren't going to grow in right, so to rectify this situation, all his baby teeth were pulled. Then his adult teeth came in, and went bad. My husband has horrible teeth and is horribley ashamed of them. We are actually going to an oral surgeon for the wisdom teeth consultation in a few hours, and after the surgery (which they can hopefully schedule before our bambino arrives) (doubtful as I am 33 weeks today) we are using his new found dental insurance to correct all the issues possible. I want him to be proud of his teeth and to be able to eat sweets and whatever he wants without feeling pain.

His dad has horrible teeth, his mom has good teeth. My dad had a gap in his teeth, but no real issues besides that, and my mom has the greatest teeth around. Seriously, perfect teeth. You wouldn't believe they were real. Me? I have okay teeth. I've had few cavities and they aren't perfectly straight (you only notice if you look closely) but it wasn't a big enough deal to require braces or anything.

As babies, George and I could have been twins. His family lost their house to a fire when he was 16, so I have no pictures of him as a baby, but his mom showed me one of him at around 18 months with white hair. Me? Same. White hair from 6 months until probably around 3 when it became blonde. George was born with white hair, not much of it, but white fuzz, and it stayed that way until around 3 or 4. We both had little baby curls too. We were pale skinned babies but tanned up pretty well as toddlers. Neither of our parents are big fans of sunblock, they just used it to prevent sunburn and grouchy babies, not for any protection from uva/uvb rays.

We both have big lips. Not huge, but juicy, plump, kissable lips. George's are slightly bigger than mine, and in Huddy's 20 week 3D ultrasound I can tell he has George's lips.

We had chubby cheeks and perfect noses, which are both bigger now, his from being a man and needing a man nose instead of a cute button baby nose, and mine is swollen from pregnancy. And better shrink back into my cute button nose.

Who will this wonderful boy look like?

*George also has brown eyes like my mom, but my eyes have beat out 4 generations of brown in order to get to me. Let's hope it is 5 because I have some pretty awesome eyes.

Can't really believe I uploaded a full face shot of both George and I, but there you go.

Mouse Update

Jen had a bit of an issue yesterday, and it reminded me of my own mouse problem.

Which is solved.

He died. In the crawl space. Near the entrance I am guessing. The entrance to our crawl space is in the laundry room. And Friday when I went in there, something smelled. I moved things around and found nothing, then I got close to the hatch for the crawl space and it got STRONGER!

Luckily, our laundry room is pretty far from the main living areas and has a doorway that apparently keeps stinky smells in the room, so it only smelled back there. But it was BAD! So, I didn't do laundry until today, and our smell is gone. Explains why we haven't heard from Mr. Mouse in awhile.

And no, no one will be getting him out. George is skiddish too and doesn't want to hunt for the dead mouse. Sorry.

Grandma

Dear Huddy,
If you ever need to bribe Grandma, I recommend hot cocoa. Or swimming, sunbathing or poodles. But promises of hot cocoa worked today. Thank Goodness! As you will someday learn, Momma loves and dreads the Fall Festival. People will park in our driveway if I move our cars. So, if I want to go buy you stuff, I need Grandma to come drive me around!

Friday Night Leftovers

This has been a pretty BLAH week.

• George got an iphone 4g. After the rebate, it will have cost us an entire $52. Not bad. And I can justify this expense even further by saying it has an amazing camera and is video capable, so we can call it a camera.


• Tomorrow is the towns Fall Festival. So I am going garage sale hunting. I am looking for a swing and maybe a dresser if I can find one. Which I doubt.


• All week I have had the same problem, I feel great one day and can tackle the world, and I feel awful the next and can't get out of bed. George is very annoyed by this.


• I am making veggie beef soup in the crock pot!


• My Graham Cracker (my grandma) is out of the hospital tonight. This means I need to deliver her some of our food stockpile.


• I am trying to make large meals and save half of them for after Huddy comes. I doubt I will be focused enough to actually cook in those first few days. Or weeks. Any great reipes that freeze well?


• I got my haircut. It is jawline at the longest point. I'd share pictures, but with pregnancy, my nose has swollen and everytime someone takes a picture I want to cry because THATS NOT MY NOSE! I got an inverted bob with stacking in the back. It is very short. Now I just need to ship my hair off for donation.

For more Leftovers hop over to Danifred and enjoy her BOY pictures!

Dear Brother, My 100th post

Happy 100 Posts

I dedicate this post to my estranged brother.

Dear William,

As a child, I knew about you. I knew I had a brother somewhere who had a different mom. I knew he got to see my dad, and I didn't. I knew his name was William.

I would fantasize about the day I'd meet you. I would pretend you came over and played with me, and I would pretend we were best friends and I always looked out for you. I would ask my mom about you frequently, expecting that she would have some anecdote to share. I lived for the day I got my brother.

When our dad showed up when I was in 3rd grade, I thought that meant we could live together and be best friends. I also learned that we had a sister. She was 4 at the time. I would sit and imagine us being the older kids and looking out for our sister, and torturing her during games with our dad.

I always thought of you. Asked about you. When our dad went back out of my life, I grew up. I became a teenager and realized our relationship would never be perfect. But at 13 I called your mom. I had wanted to talk to dad for a long time. She gave me his number and told me they were divorcing. I started to grow closer to our father in the next few years. Fighting and yelling at him, while always wondering why he never permitted us to meet. I believe he was ashamed. How could he tell his son that he had a sister? How could he admit to leaving my mother alone with a baby? He was probably perfect in your eyes and he didn't want to destroy that. I understand this now.

When he died, all hopes and dreams crashed down around me. But I clung to the idea that at the funeral, I would meet you. I would be your sister. The grief would bring us together.

Your mother approached me at the funeral and told me that the night before they had finally told you about me. I can imagine you felt like your entire world had been destroyed. Dead father, older sister, and your life was shattered. Your mom told me to give you and our sister time. That if you ever wanted to meet me, she would let us know. I never heard a word.

When our Grandfather and I started to get close, my fantasies came back. If he accepted me, so would you. But you got mad. You ran from the room when I sat next to you the day of our Grandma's funeral. You looked so much like our cousin, I didn't even know that 6 foot tall boy was my little brother.

I have been told that you spent the next several years saying how I stole our grandpa, and that if you ever had the chance, you'd punch me in the face. I assumed this was just a teenage boy thing. But when our grandpa got sick and you didn't come around, I blamed myself for ruining the relationship. I believe he died knowing great pain. But also so much happiness because with that pain, he connected with is biological children and with me.

At his funeral, I had an entire speech to give you. I wanted so badly to connect with you, and I knew that was my last chance. But you never came.

My last memory of you is of you running out of a room.

Now I am having a baby. Your nephew. And all I can think of is my fantasy of the holidays. You and our sister sitting at a table, discussing our father and holding my child. This is a fantasy I will never let go of.

So, Dear William, I love you. I have loved you since I was a toddler and heard about you. You are my brother, and I want to be there for you. To grow as a person by knowing you. So if we ever meet again, please don't lash out in anger, but listen to what I have to say.

Stacey

***Thanks for reading my 100th post. Hopefully, someday, it will have a happy resolution.

Guilt

I feel guilty. I am going to return one of my shower gifts. It is a longer/bouncer thing and it is ugly. Well, it is cute, in baby world. But it is bright blue, bright green and loud color-wise. Not our style at all. We like baby items that look like furniture. Our house is all earth tones. And so we selected items for our registry that matched. Neutral, earth toned items. The person who bought it for us said they liked this item because it would grow with the child. Which is great. But we don't need that. We want an item that says "peaceful" not "crazy loud".

Am I being picky? Probably.

The item we selected is brown, beige and earthy green. Plus, it has monkies. Which George finds very important.

Plus, the item that was bought for us, cost more than what we even wanted. I kind of feel bad. This person wasted money.

The problem? I have no idea where they bought this item. And I don't want to run from store to store asking "do you sell this?" over and over. But I think I have to.

The positive? Since I don't have a receipt I will have to settle for a gift card. This is a positive because I can use that gift card on something we want or need, and then use our own money to go to babies r us and get the item we want. And since babies r us is giving away coupons with every purchase, we ended up with 10 or so 20% off coupons that are good after September 23. So our desired item will be like $1 off.

I feel guilty though. This person obviously thought we would enjoy this product and I feel like it is a personal insult to her to return it. But I feel like this item will annoy me. I am having a hard enough time with my Magazine Worthy living room being crowded with baby items. I feel like those items should at least be in my own taste and look like they belong in our house instead of belonging in a daycare. God! I sound so selfish. And prissy. I also feel like I should hide my shame and not even mention returning anything. George and my mom are the only people who will know. Luckily, this person lives 50 miles away and probably won't be popping in.

Today is the big day. The day I cut off my hair. It is 16 inches long now. Meaning Lock of Love will be getting 10 inches while I get to sport an Inverted Bob with stacking in the back. Yep, I have spent 3 months asking people what type of hairstyle they are rocking. All so I can copy it.

I asked my cousin to do it, and she said she hates that hairstyle so I shouldn't let her do it. At least she was honest! So, my friend from high school, who also cuts my mother's hair, will be doing it for me.

I am nervous. If it turns out horrible, I won't have enough hair left to fix it! Plus, this is my hair. The tips are the same hair I had when I got married! This hair has been through so much with me. Am I a weirdo for being attached to my hair?

How will it feel when I go to wash my hair and only need a tiny bit of shampoo? How will I get used to brushing it without having to throw it over my shoulder? Or being able to toss it up in a ponytail?

But gone will be the days of greasy looking hair. Lately, it seems like no matter what I do, I can't get all the conditioner out. This is extremely annoying.

The first baby that was born, the one born to the fertile? Well, things aren't so easy anymore. I feel so awful for having my negative thoughts. The little one, not even 2 weeks yet, woke her mom up by SCREAMING last night. Immediately, Fertile knew something was wrong, but when she picked her daughter up, she really knew something was wrong. The baby was HOT! They checked her temperature and she had a fever of 100. They called the doctor and he was concerned and just wanted her to get checked out. So, they went to the hospital. Within that 40 minute period of checking the temp, calling the doctor and getting to the hospital, the baby;s temperature was up to 101. They ran a few tests and even did a spinal tap. Nothing has really been said as to what it could be, but they are keeping her until she is fever free since she is only 10 or so days old.

I know spinal taps are painful. I have watched House. So I can't imagine watching my newborn go through that. But Fertile (now I even feel bad calling her that) was allowed to stay in the room. I can't imagine how scary it must be to have a child so sick at such a young age. Poor little girl.

Moose has not had another seizure. Thank God! But if I am in bed, or in the tub, and I hear a weird noise or a boom, I run for Moose. The cat knocked over a stack of baby items, Moose whimpered in her sleep, stupid things, and I ran. She is my baby.

The mouse has not returned in days. Not even a peep, scratch or scurry from any of the known mouse places. The cats are disturbed by this. I am questioning where the mouse has gone. No smell, so I assume he didn't die. Or maybe he died and we are just lucky enough not to smell him? Never really had something dead under my house before. I don't know how much stink a mouse can have. I hope he is dead. Sorry little guy, but you chose the wrong house.

If he is still alive, go torture the pot smoking neighbor who spends all his time up at the bar and made his kids go over half the summer without a/c while he spent his time and money there. He is also the guy who can't back out of his driveway without flooring it. So when he hits ice and hops the curb into our yard, I panic. Our fence is 10 feet off the street. If he hits our fence, on that side, the kitchen and dining room are only another 10 feet. Hit those, and you get to meet your maker. Hit the fence when the dogs are out, and meet your maker. This year will be even worse with Huddy here. Property damage is one thing, but now the asshole will have my child's life in his hands. I really hate this guy.

He also watched me mow the lawn. A few weeks ago, George taught me to use the push mower. I liked it. So, last week I was mowing the lawn while George was trimming the hedges and the trees. I was lost in my own world until I looked to my right. This neighbor was sitting on a lawn chair, in his front yard, with his hands curiously in his lap, shirtless, watching me. This man is NOT attractive. He is downright creepy looking. Plus, the way his hands were, I think he was hiding something. And he wasn't just staring, he was blatantly staring, like he didn't care when I looked and caught him. It is like he is some sicko. I am huge and pregnant buddy, the last thing I need is some huge and hairy fat guy checking me out.

Then the next night he was outside, in his lawnchair and stared as George left for work. George called me and made me check all the doors and windows and make sure I had Moose with me at all times. I figured George was being over protective, until at 3 am I went pee and noticed a person in the street light. Yep, he had walked out his front door and towards our house. I grabbed the butcher knife, flipped our lights and waited. He paused and kind of just stood at the edge of the street. Then turned back and went inside. We have told numerous people about this, because if something ever does happen, he is the guy. But it isn't like we can call the cops. Being creepy isn't illegal. It should be though.

Oh, and I am warning you now, I will try to keep politics off my blog. They're just not pretty. But if you support Governor Perry, you will be insulted at some point. His beliefs are insane. Seriously, wiki him. He has no issue with giving mentally delayed adults the death penalty. He has used the veto power more than any other governor. He thinks that homosexuals should just stop having sex, just like an alcoholic should just stop drinking. I have a friend who is in school to be an addictions counselor and she really liked that last one.

Sorry. That is it. I won't mention my last 5 reasons for disliking him and the 1 reason I do like him.

Anywho, I told George I would do some dishes and make food, and he will be home in an hour and I have done nothing but update our registry and blog.