He's back!

The mouse is back! Not dead. Or we have a new mouse. He is a white lab mouse. Yeah. As in, someone in our neighborhood probably had mice, they made babies, and then the person got overwhlemed and set the mice free. At least one of those mice has found us!

The problem? Back in the beginning of our relationship, George's sister and I went shopping. When we got back to George's parents house, he said "Go upstairs and meet Ozzy" and then smiled a huge smile.

For years I had wanted a pug or a rott and I wanted to name it Ozzy. So I ran upstairs and flung George's door open and what stared back at me? A white, giant ass rat with red beady eyes. I ran down the hall, pushed his sister out of my way and ran down the stairs and outside and yelled that I would NOT BE IN THE ROOM WITH THAT GROSS THING!

Two hours later, George had that "thing" in bed with me. Two months later, Ozzy lived with us. He was almost the size of a cat. He got huge. He was trained like a cat. Then after 2 years, he got sick and died. George forced me out of the house for Ozzy's final moments and took care of everything while I was gone. It was too painful.

That night, George cried that he needed something white and furry and to kidnap my mom's cat. So, Boo, our white kitty, came home with me that night.

Back to the problem, this mouse is only slightly smaller than Ozzy was when he first scared me out of the house. Ozzy has been gone over 3 years now. We still discuss him and not a day goes by that I don't miss the sound of him asking for love. Or remember how if you put food through is cage, he would eat it. So if you changed too close to his cage, he bit any part of you that came through those slats. AKA George's nipple. This rat actually kept us together because when we did break up, we had a custody battle. This rat forced us to come together, which forced us to work things out. We were 17 and 19 okay? This rat was OURS.

Now I have 2 cats, in my kitchen, trying to get this effer out from behind the oven so they can kill it. George has instructed me to starve and stay out of the kitchen until he gets home. And that if I hear any sounds of a dying mouse, so run outside and stay outside for the 2 hours before he gets home. The stress of this dilemma is causing contractions. Which I am NOT timing because this child just likes to get me excited.

I hope the mouse just stays behind the oven until George gets home so that he can move the oven and take care of this. He said he will get a box and use the cats (because they are SO well trained at this and all) and get this thing in the box. Then drive several miles away and deposit our friend into a cold corn field.

Not sure how this is going to work, but I did find some poison that isn't harmful to cats and electric (instant death) mouse traps sound okay. I also may have tossed some of Boo's pain medicine (it's generic vicodin I think) behind the oven. I heard the mouse scurry to it and I heard nibbling. If Boo and his fat behind (he is fat) can take 1 pill and be drugged up for over 6 hours, I am thinking it'll eff a mouse up or kill it. And if my cats eat it, they'll just feel good and take a nap. I also put a line of cat nip in front of the oven so my kitties are now high and mean! Catnip makes them psycho mean kitties.

But now we have a problem. Another one. To go pee, I have to walk through the kitchen. And while I know the mouse is still hiding, I will also be tempted to peak at him. Ugh! I need a drink! A shot of tequila sounds mighty nice. Huddy, get out, Mommy is mouse hunting and she just can't handle doing that sober. K Thanks.